Monday, February 26, 2001

For those of you that haven't seen The Comic Strip Presents: Mr Jolly Lives Next Door I recommend it. If you don't already, you'll need to know who Nicholas Parsons is, find out about him here.

And if you want to know more, listen to this!

Oh my goodness. All your base are belong to us scorned by those good people at TV Go Home. Still, Cunt looks like it could be a watcher.... Gotta love Nathan Barley.

Saturday, February 24, 2001

oi you, I don't even know who you are. Don't make disparaging remarks about my haircut - I just wanted it to look like all the other people on Jerry Springer that day, when I was in the "My cousin is also my uncle" episode. And Diamonds Are Forever was perhaps the greatest Bond movie ever... Add up Sean Connery in his final (real) Bond role (we won't discuss the deplorable Never Say Never Again), Charles Gray as a gorgeously camp Blofeld ("Look at the superpowers, flexing their muscles like so many impotent beachboys"), a fantastic night car chase through the streets of Las Vegas (albeit with glaring continuity error) in a candy apple red 1970 Mach 1 Mustang.

You get 42.

Every time.

Friday, February 23, 2001

Nothing quite like a bogan in a frock.
He scores extra points if he gets peroxide tips to his mullet tail.

What's wrong with escaping in drag? Billy Joe Bob's done that heaps of times.

Such a shame,.. Diamonds are Forever was such a disappointing Bond. I mean,.. pah,.. Blofeld escaping from the hotel in drag?!?

They should have kept Donald Pleasance in my opinion.

Oh wait,.. I am sounding strangely on topic for this blogger. Won't happen again.

Thursday, February 22, 2001

I have to add this other quote from Blofeld while I'm here.

"The satellite is now over... Kansas. Well, if we blow up Kansas the world may not hear about it for years."

I'm formulating a theory. There is a field of bad juju circulating around my monitor. It's evil and nasty. Even my House of Voodoo mug can't stop those evil death rays from getting all pernickity on my ass. Even my desk isn't immune, it's started squeaking again. I think it has an amputee inside. The whole damn thing has broken my brain. My plastic crazy grimacing dude on the box is, as I type, being eaten by those crazy jelly dinosaurs and a plastic frog that you can fill with water and squirt at people. I haven't filled it with water because I've learnt my lesson about water and electricity. Even the huge wad of blu-tac (damnit, no matter how I write it, blutac/blu-tac, it just looks wrong) that was helping my plastic crazy grimacing dude stand up isn't helping him defeat the jelly dinosaurs. They move in the night, you know. It's true. And as if that weren't enough, someone has put a little lump of blu-tac underneath the nose of my little bust of Beethoven and made him look like he has a bogey.
Well, I'd love to stay and ramble, but in the words of Blofeld in Diamonds are Forever.. "It's late, I'm tired, and there is much left to do."

Wednesday, February 21, 2001

Damnit, Billy Joe Bob, now I've got that song in my head too. Now, I'm going to have to listen to this! *giggle*

two things - song in head - "gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight" by abba second alex don't double post

Tuesday, February 20, 2001

Well here it is,.. my very first entry into the feistynoodle blog. I must think of a way to make a big impact.


Erm.. I was raised by wolves.

Alex, where do you find this stuff? Errrr.. on second thoughts, don't tell me. Clearly from a place that speaks good England.

At least these people have the excuse that English is not their first language, I've had 2 songs in my head for the last couple of days, for no other reason than - although I know the correct lyrics, I choose not to sing them.

The first one is Talking Heads' version of "Take me to the river" - my alternate lyric being "Take me to the river, watch me drown..."
And the second is The Stranglers' "Golden Brown" - with my words - "Golden brown, texture like sun, lays me down, with my machine gun..."

Ack, I've just realised that those are both pretty morbid. But they fit so well, damnit!!! *stamps foot*
If only kissthisguy wasn't in a state of submission impossible.....

Some videogames gain notoriety through their bad use of English, dubbed 'Japlish' by some. My personal favourite is Captain America and The Avengers, and it features such gems as 'You can't escape!' 'YOU will be the one escaping!' and 'Don't disturb us!' 'Why should it goes well?'. Much to my disappointment, Captain America is currently listed as unMAMEable due to encrypted roms. Something that did get the MAME treatment is 'Zero Wing', and it features some incredibly bad english. Funny bad. Cult bad...


All Your Base Are Belong To Us.

Monday, February 19, 2001

I'd just like to say that, for the record, mondays suck aaaahhhnus. Big time. Especially when you've had a shitty weekend. For the record.

Friday, February 16, 2001

Damnit, I'm back on the kitty topic again (no not that one, Billy Joe Bob!!) Check out the pic
here.

Hmm... pocket jury?..... nahhh, I won't say anytheeeng.... *giggle*

I have to post this link to disappointment in that grating I found the site ages ago, so nerrrrr way that I seem to be getting so good at lately.... but playground law is priceless....

I used to go to primary school with a kid (who reminds me of Cha Man) who spent about three years playing a game called closing the gates, which consisted largely of running around the entire playground and waving his arms frantically about and muttering. This freaked the rest of us out so much, that we generally left him to play in the upper playground by himself, while the rest of us crammed into the smaller, but insanity free, lower playground. Except occasionally, we'd beat him with sticks.
Dominic Rose - if, by some strange coincidence, you ever read this - you're a NUTTER!!

Hey billy joe, you're famous! Don't fancy the button image though.

Thursday, February 15, 2001

*hands billy joe bob a button*

Wednesday, February 14, 2001

confused. very confused. While, however, we're sittin ghere and talking about buttons, i really wish someone would make me one for billyjoeblog

Woohoo, a new button, from the crazy mind of Monkey Mick, the genius who brought you Noise Biscuits and Grandpa Colostomy, the latter, which, for some reason failed to take off as a popular childrens doll...
And to (try to) quote Danny from Withnail and I... "It's disgusting, but the little girls like that sorta thing."

Oh dear, Alex, now I'm always gonna have a vision of a very shouty John Goodman in my head whenever I watch other people having anal sex....... and it happens so often too.... *giggle*

Tuesday, February 13, 2001

Downloaded me some old-fashioned internet pr0n today, a marginally titillating 20MB treat from stileproject.com (rousing cheer for Stile, the hero! yaay!) -- it contained some fairly straight forward hetero action, anal sex, as it happens. Funny thing was, all I could think of was John Goodman in 'The Big Lebowski' laying into the red sports car with a crowbar, yelling

"THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY, WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!".

Does anyone else think of Mr Goodman when they're watching pr0n? What about other celebrities -- and if anyone says 'Willem Dafoe from Shadow of the Vampire' my phone number is ...

ACTUALLY, Miss Feisty Noodle, I got the link off superblonde, who, i might say, was being very blonde about the whole thing..... so... up yer bum.

The pedant in me thought that was Ghostbusters 1 but yeah, I like the quote... Today's Spazz Award goes to Billy Joe Bob, who told me that someone had told him about a really cool site... "Yeah it's called Bonsai Kitten and it's really funny, about people putting kittens in jars... " The web equivalent of telling someone their own story, heheh...

Monday, February 12, 2001

Speaking of mangling kittens, I feel this website has to be seen to be believed.....
bonsaikittens
- and don't ask me how I found it, someone showed it to me....

Ummmm, sounds like.......... Jack Handee?

A pot at the next get-together for the person who can correctly place this quote:


"I had a kitten once but I broke it."

Fuzzy, when people say they love something to pieces, they don't mean they literally love it to pieces, sooner or later someone's gonna notice all those little mounds in the back garden, and then they'll start to wonder where all the little neighbourhood kittys disappeared to...... and... and..... Just go easy when you see my doggy again, mmmmmmkay? *giggle*

Friday, February 09, 2001

You're all class, darl.... what's next, a confederate flag doona cover?
*lightbulb appears over Feistynoodle's head*
*sping!*
*lightbulb goes back out again*

eyo i want me a button too..... with chrome wheels and nekkid lady hubcaps....

Thursday, February 08, 2001

I always thought it was:


"Pigs sweat,

Men perspire,

and Ladies feel the heat."


What kind of button would you like, Uncle Fuzzy?

i'm a gonna havta open up a can a whupass on y'all...... ladies glow!

"Ladies glow" Ian, they (eve rummages around her bag of HTML) glow, silly!

And what ya'll eating crawdads fo', boy? I jes been inside cookin' ya'll up some grits n cornbread, consarnit! Still ah guess we can probly feed 'em to Billy Sue, she out in the yard, near'n that pile o' tyres, playing wit' grampaw again, thass thah third time she dug him up this week...

i don't know wherefore youall crazy folks are gettin em allfired funny words, but i'm tellin ya i got me a badawful case' a itchy trigger finger.......

As long as it's not a bad case of connard, Foozwah, cause I'd hate for anyone to think you were an arsehole/bastard/all purpose french swearword.... *giggle*
Damn, why is it so hot? I need it to rain, and none of your fancy modern drizzle, I need rain just like grandma used to make...... err..

Pffft....... one day, when you're old enough, Unca Fuzzy.....
Ack, suffering a classic case of cafard today... one of those days when you're in a black mood, for no readily apparent reason. Well, no readily apparent reason apart from the fact that it's very hot, and I'm at work instead of being fanned with palm leaves by a bunch of beautiful flunkies wearing somehow tasteful leopardskin undies. I, naturally, should be wearing the gold bikini that princess leia wore at the start of Return of the Jedi....

Ooooh, and drinking vodka martinis.

Wednesday, February 07, 2001

Baaaamm!!! Alex, you're the most rokkkkingy thing that ever did rokk rokkkety rokkkkin stuff........ tanQ for my button!!

Tuesday, February 06, 2001

I made a button for FN! yar boo sucks to you all :cD

*a tumbleweed rolls slowly across Feistynoodle's blog*

Thursday, February 01, 2001

I think I just did something this morning that nobody else has ever done. I talked to an Elder of the church of Latter Day Saints - ie a Mormon - for about ten minutes on the tram and managed not to talk about God. Maybe he was just a naughty mormon. If you're wondering what we were talking about, it was Colin McRae Rally... Go figure! I felt sorry for the chick opposite me, she got the full god-bashing.... And why are the mormon drones called Elders? They're clearly younger - or maybe I'm meant to be assimilated before I'm 27....
Still, it's better than when the Jehovah's Witnesses got me when I was nine years old at home in bed with the flu. They talked to me so much I took their bloody Watchtower just so's I could go back to bed. What they hadn't bargained on was coming back next week to collect their poxy lil rag, and having to explain to my mum, for whom the phrase "Holy Terror" was invented, exactly why they'd tried to brainwash a nine year old kid with the flu and stripey pyjamas. I've never seen misguided religious freaks run so fast!
Time for your crazy godsquad stories, or at least anecdotes about stripey pyjamas....