Saturday, March 31, 2001

We have a new addition to the house. He is called Barry. In a very "stolen generation" type situation, we caught the mouse that has been sprinting around the kitchen floor of an evening, and told him we are giving him a better home in an exciting plastic cage. It is a very nice cage though. He was a bit scared at first, and looked at us funny as we cooed at him in his new home, but he seems to have settled in ok, and sporadically does loop de loops in his running wheel. He's very fast - but we already knew that, cause it took us 3 months to catch him. We admit that that's because there may be more than one Barry. In fact, we've already seen a Janet. (To explain, Barry and Janet are the names of my best friend's parents. I don't know how they ended up with those names other than he looks like a Barry.)
As I was writing this, Bill turned to Barry and said, in a consternated tone, "Barry, we've bought you a house with a spaceship." (It's true - the cage has this kind of Jetsons type spaceship tower thing). Barry was too busy spinning to answer. He likes his wheel.

Wednesday, March 28, 2001

that sexy noodlechick sent me this


Tuesday, March 27, 2001

Hey I loved that movie!
Has anyone else seen the 1967 German black and white film full of deranged giggling midgets going insane on a volcanic island?

Yes,.. this post is written under duress.

Oooh scary being-in-the-game action. Yeah well Michael Douglas being a man who surfs on the foreskin of technology has already been in the game... errr... just don't ask me why I know that, or indeed how I know that it's not worth watching... *cough*

oh... oh wow.... oh gee.... this looks like the mosty astonishingy astonishingy amazering game in the worldy world.... i want to play it NOOOWWWWWWW but it's only being released in the states for the time being.....

And having followed the link in Kate's blog that you sent, Bill, I should like to inform all and sundry that I am *not* from Lisbon, Portugal.

Several things to post today...

First, shame on you Billyjoebob for extraneous blogplugs. At least Alex *writes* to his blog!!

Second - the OscarsĀ® - we've decided in the office that the all time three most embarrassing acceptance speeches are:
1. James Cameron
2. Gwyneth Paltrow
3. Julia Roberts
James Cameron *has* to come first, because, as Justin pointed out, "Even if you are King of the World, you don't tell everyone!"

And last, for those of you listening to RRR this morning at about 7.30am (and indeed those of you who weren't!) they played Been Caught Stealing by Jane's Addiction. At the beginning of this track, there's a barking dog. Purdey, Destroyer of Couch Cushions and Digger of Majestically Cavernous Holes in the Lawn, heard the start of this song on the radio, and woke from her slumber to bark right back... Bill, being the publicity shy creature that he is, called RRR and told them that the song had woken his(??!) dog up and she barked back at the radio. Within five minutes, my dog had a mention on the radio!

*Sigh* it's all too cute....

Monday, March 26, 2001

b l o g p l u g

bl og pl ug

have fun mr 4.0 and your erstwhile companion ms 4.5 the only person i know who lives in ireland is here right now... bummer

Hi team, just writing a short note to Eveypeas ... Eve we're heading up north to have a squiz at Belfast and the Giant's Causeway tomorrow, and then down-and-around in a counter-clockwise fashion thereafter. If there's anything you think we should definitely see please drop me a line at or here in your blog ... including details of people whose hospitality we can indulge in etc :cD We have almost a full compliment of tacky Aussie(tm) toys with which to befriend otherwise hostile or suspicious natives *grin*. No Miss Purdey, you can't eat them. Dublin is a blast - here's a plug for my blog - b l o g p l u g see you all in a few weeks!

All my love, Alex

Tuesday, March 13, 2001

Aha! You see, I never watched Spanking the Monkey, not even when I went my "I've seen all the stuff I want to watch at the video store, now let's rent the things that look pooey" phase....

I have to say that "Does that feel good darling?" is probably one of the funnier stories like that I've heard... although I have to say, I still quite like the urban myth-joke type thingy about a boy going into his room putting his walkman on, closing his eyes and having a wank on his bed. And when he's done, he opens his eyes and there's a fresh cup of tea on his bedside table....

The main problem with "Spanking the Monkey" was that the cover of the video made some inane reference to "Ferris Bueller's Day Off", as in "this is the funniest teen movie since", and so I actually got it out and watched it one day..... *shudder*

Saturday, March 10, 2001

A point on names for people's bits, rather, an anecdote on familial anatomatical observations:

The mother of an ex-housemate of mine told me a peculiar story about a friend of hers, the mother to a five-year-old. Apparently this woman doted on and perceptively spoilt said infant to the point of indulgence. Case in point was the child taking off its nappy, not to pee and poo 'Pollock' style on the wall, but to commence masturbating, in front of a small group of the mother's friends, including TMOAEHOM. Does the mother quickly scoop up the infant, excuse herself from the room and defuse the situation with a comment along the lines of "It's just a phase" or "goodness me he's never done that before!" or even "My, what a quick learner!"?

Of course not.

"Does that feel good darling?". Does that feel good, darling. I'm having flashbacks to Spanking The Monkey. It makes one wonder if there is such a thing as acceptible sexual behaviour in children under the age of 10, but how else do kids learn about their bodies? Once the child is 10 or 15 one would hope it knows not to whip it out and beat off in polite company.

Don't start the boys on willy euphemisms, Eve, or we'll never hear the end of it! (Boom Boom.)

Purple-headed womb broom? The wet war wanger? Roger's Profanisaurus c/- Viz can be relied upon for a great many willy and woo-woo euphemisms. I still like Mrs Cartman's explanation of the Birds and Bees to Cartman: "... and then he put his hoo-hoo dilly in Mommy's cha-cha!"

Can Eve or Uncle Fuzzy give me an idea of any easter-eggs that may or may not be appearing in Le Mans 2? I imagine your employer has a policy on such thingies. Even so, the notion of celebrity drivers has merit -- kinda like the Grand Prix celebrity nonsense, only without their consent ... or appearance fees :cD

For example: This image comes courtesy of The Stile Project.

Friday, March 09, 2001

Yay, looking forward to the weekend.... a long weekend at that, why, this weekend is over 42 feet long! (Or maybe it was boasting, I dunno...) Ok, it's after 6pm and I haven't actually left work yet, but some things at least are looking up.... My plans for the weekend? Sleeping (and not having weird Dodge Viper texturing related dreams), eating lovely food - well, whatever happens to be in the fridge, drinking and going out on saturday night with Kasia... double yay!!

And.... do you wanna see the viper?

Wednesday, March 07, 2001

ok maybe it's just me, but i'm going to be very very happy when this movie comes out

Monday, March 05, 2001

Hmm, I have a challenge for you all. When I was younger and in the same hemisphere as the rest of my relatives, I helped one of my great aunts babysit a brood of cousins - babysitting with a great aunt generally involves picking up bits of chewed saliva-ey duplo that the said great aunt deigns not to touch. But I digress. Anyway I'm having a conversation with great aunt when - magnanimously - she decides that my youngest cousin needs his nappy changing. Not a problem for me, I just sit back while auntie provides something of a scat inspired running commentary. But then! My doddering auntie refers to my baby cousin's penis as a Peter Spoffle.... I've never heard this before or since.... and the challenge is.... what's the weirdest name you've heard for anyone's bits?

Oky doky. It had to happen. The only other joke I can always remember..

Why does Edward Woodward have four 'd's in his name?

Cause otherwise he'd be called Ewarwoowar....
*splits sides*

A guy walks into a bar and sees a man playing poker with a dog and a cat - he walks up to the bartender and says "That's amazing!!". The dog throws in his hand and growls "That's it, I'm out" - the bartender looks at the guy and says "Don't let em fool ya - the cat's a ventriloquist"

Friday, March 02, 2001

Bugger, I can't believe I can only remember about 2 jokes in the entire world. (Bill can attest to this.) But at least one of them is funny...

An elephant is out walking one day, and he meets a mouse.
"You're very little!" he says to the mouse.
The mouse looks up at the elephant and squeaks "I've not been well!"