Sunday, February 29, 2004

Pol that camera looks cool! I so want a new digital camera, the one I have now is like a brick... send me a super high res photo when you get it so I can see what it's like...

Friday, February 27, 2004

have just bought a digital camera and it is a right good one for the money, bought online from HK for US$402 including Fed Ex.

It willl no doubt turn out to be the wrong one bought at the wrong time but then that's the way I relate to technology.



What happened on the sixth of Feb?

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

I'm too busy playing with this damn thing to blog it!

Now, where were we? Ahh yes. Virtual Theremin. Eye Toy, eat your heart out! The most fun you can have with a webcam with your clothes on.



Woo! I'm singin' songs with muh hands, Ma!

At its Developer Forum event in San Francisco yesterday, Intel outlined a new home entertainment PC platform, codenamed Kessler.

Kessler, based on the Pentium 4 processor and the new Grantsdale chip and running Windows XP Media Centre Edition, is an example of an Entertainment PC, a slim form factor, high-performance PC connected to a television screen.

These PCs are intended to replace video recorders, DVD players and hi-fis with a single unit that can store, record and play every kind of digital media.

A prototype reference design for the platform, codenamed Sandow, should be available in 2005.

Intel chief executive Craig Barrett described it as a PC masquerading as a piece of consumer electronics. "The digital home is where there's as much excitement as anything today," he said.

"Moving content between three screens of the home is key to this concept. That's the big screen on the TV, the medium-sized computer screen and the small screen on the handheld device."

A wireless connection will allow content stored on the PC to be transferred around the home without the need for bulky cables.

In addition Intel is promoting a set of standards, known as Networked Media Product Requirements, which manufacturers can use to ensure all home devices can communicate with each other.

As for sound quality, Intel has joined with Dolby to promote a PC Logo programme whereby devices that have computer-enhanced sound will be badged, similar to the Intel Inside logo, for easy identification.

A deal was also announced between Intel, AOL and Movielink to provide a movies-on-demand download service.

Louis Burns, vice president for the desktop platforms group at Intel, looked forward to when first-run films could be premiered simultaneously at home and in the cinema, and warned media companies that they should adapt or die.

"Companies that take opportunities and go first will come out winners and the rest will go the way of the dinosaurs," he said.

"When people wanted to buy a few songs instead of the whole album the music industry didn't provide. The outlet didn't exist so people found others."

News Just To Hand: John Howard again picked last for rounders


Monday, February 23, 2004

It's not so much the humping and the yelping as the expression on his face.

Friday, February 20, 2004

things they tried to do with angel before they canned it, idea #36728

Thursday, February 19, 2004

This is what Joss Whedon had to say about the cancellation of Angel:

Some of you may have heard the hilarious news. I thought this would be a good time to weigh in. to answer some obvious questions:

No, we had no idea this was coming.

Yes, we will finish out the season.

No, I don't think the WB is doing the right thing.

Yes, I'm grateful they did it early enough for my people to find other jobs.

Yes, my heart is breaking.

When Buffy ended, I was tapped out and ready to send it off. When Firefly got the axe, I went into a state of denial so huge it may very well cause a movie. But Angel... we really were starting to feel like we were on top, hitting our stride -- and then we strode right into the Pit of Snakes 'n' Lava. I'm so into these characters, these actors, the situations we're building... you wanna know how I feel? Watch the first act of [Buffy episode] The Body.

As far as TV movies or whatever, I'm not thinking that far ahead. I actually hope my actors and writers are all too busy. We always planned this season finale to be a great capper to the season and the show in general. (And a great platform for a new season, of course.) We'll proceed ahead as planned.

I've never made mainstream TV very well. I like surprises, and TV isn't about surprises, unless the surprise is who gets voted off of something. I've been lucky to sneak this strange, strange show over the airwaves for as long as I have. I don't FEEL lucky, but I understand that I am.

Thanks all for your support, your community, and your perfectly sane devotion. It's meant a lot. I regret nothing (except the string of grisly murders in the 80's -- what was THAT all about?) Remember the words of the poet:

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the road less traveled by and they CANCELLED MY FRIKKIN' SHOW. I totally shoulda took the road that had all those people on it. Damn."

Alex, me old love, Scousers are the english people of the city of Liverpool.
The corect racial epithet for the Scottish is
"Vindictive grudge bearing wee scots bastards"

glad we cleared that up.

Oh and if the scot in Question is from Glasgow, like myself and Harry, then we also get called

"Soap dodging weegie cunts"

It's all go.

Pol x

For the resident and itinerant Scousers, with fingers crossed, via insultmonger.com:

It requires a surgical operation to get a joke well into a Scotsman's understanding.
- Sidney Smith

Oats: a grain which in England is generally given to a horse, but in Scotland, it supports the people.
- Samuel Johnson

The great thing about Glasgow now is that if there is a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.
- Billy Connolly

Much may be made of a Scotsman, if he is caught young.
- Samuel Johnson

The noblest prospect which a Scotsman ever sees, is the high road that leads him to England.
- Samuel Johnson

Scotland: That garret of the earth - that knuckle-end of England - that land of Calvin, oatcakes, and sulfur.
- Sydney Smith

There are few more impressive sights in the world than a Scotsman on the make.
- James Barrie

I have been trying all my life to like Scotchmen, and am obliged to desist from the experiment in despair.
- Charles Lamb

If the Scotch knew enough to go in when it rained, they would never get any outdoor exercise.
- Simeon Ford

In all my travels I never met with any one Scotchman but what was a man of sense. I believe everybody of that country that has any, leaves it as fast as they can.
- Francis Lockier

The kilt is an unrivalled garment for fornication and diarrhea.
- John Masters

The Scots invented golf - which could also explain why they invented Scotch.
- James Dent

In Scotland, you're considered posh if you have slates on your roof. Indeed, if you have a roof.
- unattrib.

If you take a picture of a Scotsman, he runs about claiming you stole his soul.
- unattrib.

I wish Scotland would snap-off and sink!
- unattrib.
I went looking for 'Scottish insults' and found ways to insult the Scottish. Thankyou intarwebnet

NEWS FLASH: British Prime Minister Blair nutted, then cockpunched by soldier in peas incident

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

how odd, when I got back to blighty I went kinda mental for IRN-BRU.
But I found that the regular version was WAY too sweet, but the diet version is smashing.

Tell you what Haitch, fill the bottle with lucozade and leave it on your mantle as a centre piece

It was!

There's a lolly shop on lygon street that sells imported sweets.

I now have a glass bottle of irn bru sitting on my desk.

I think its one of those experiences destined to be disappointing.

Sunday, February 15, 2004

old school achewood

Crap!

http://www.aintitcoolnews.com/display.cgi?id=17011

Angel's been cancelled, so this will be it's final season.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Once again, the goons at Something Awful made me giggle so hard i almost weed my pants at work. I give you:


Mixed Up Movie Captions

Monday, February 09, 2004

or when he gets sick .

"getting sick on the weekend! what are the chances? it's gotta be a million to one!"

I’m sure it’s kinda lame to be quoting Homer but some of these are just plain funny, and let’s face it – I wasn’t very cool to start with. Numbers 3 & 15 are especially for you Harry.

1. You couldn't fool me on the foolingest day of the year with an electrified fooling machine.
2. With $10,000, we can be millionaires!
3. Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?
4. I know I'm not usually a praying man, but if you're up there, please Superman, help me!
5. Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.
6. Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true.
7. Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos.
8. Without TV, it is hard to know when one day ends and another begins.
9. I don't have to be careful. I've got a gun!
10. Being eaten by a crocodile is just like falling asleep, in a blender.
11. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel.
12. There's that purple stuff inside. Purple is a fruit!
13. Note to self. Stop doing anything.
14. I'm just trying to get into heaven. I'm not running for Jesus.
15. Speed limits are just a suggestion, like pants.

Sunday, February 08, 2004

Saturday, February 07, 2004

Underworld?

under PANTS!


(stolen from spinal tap)

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Today I was brainstorming a bit at the caff up the road over breakfast ... was thinking about that elite RTS game that's almost out, Escape from Woomera ... well ... is it a game ... or a pizza? I mean ... social commentary ... interactive fiction or interactive reality? interactive immersive fucking terror from my POV ... so yeah my notes this far.

Urban Game Hunter
First person perspective shooter / sneaker based on the activities of ecoterrorism group Earth Liberation Front. (As opposed to these guys, the Entropy Liberation Front. They make great Palm apps.

Missions include:

Burn the ski resort

Torch that extravagant, overpriced ski resort -- off season for wimps, high season for the die-hard (kill-hard?) 'no-one is innocent' crowd. No bodycount = page 10 in the New York Times, but thirty dead? Presidential message to nation! A Winner Is You.

Motorway Siege

How many Hummers can you knock out in one night? Keep moving to avoid the feds. Extra points for capping people in convertibles. Blowing up moving cars is so much more interesting than burning them in the caryard. Not that that can't be fun ... (even though the millions of shitty poorly-tuned vehicles contribute just as much to Greenhouse Gas emissions as the few shiny gas munching SUV/4WDs that they like to whinge about ... but how else would we get to the Anarchist's Meetings?)

Liberate da chickens

sneak into battery farm, disable security systems, load chickens into transports, rehabilitate them at ... I dunno, the local hippy commie feral farm, where they are re-integrated into modern socialist chicken lives ... COMRADES!

Okay so I can't think right now. Might have something to do with being laid just now. I mean laid off. Buuhuu. What is it with this fucking blog! IT IS CUERSD


NB. if DARPA can do MMORPG to see if they can beat 'asymmetrical warfare' then surely this is just a 'modelling' exercise. Maybe it will help work out why the Fuzz haven't been able to catch them ... well ... catch them all :)





Tuesday, February 03, 2004

Just occasionally the remake is superior to the original. Argh, but which original am I referring to, you ask?

So I was thinking...

INT. MOUNT DOOM - DAY
Frodo stands at the edge of the ledge, holding the ring out over the lake of fire. it dangles from it's chain as smoke curls up and around.

Sam stumbles into the cavern. His face is dirty, his hands are bleeding. Frodo senses him and turns, pulling the ring closer to his chest, wrapping his hands around it.

SAM
What are you doing Mr. Frodo?

FRODO
(quietly)
It's mine sam.

SAM
Excuse me?

Frodo steps away from the ledge, glowering at sam.

FRODO
I think you heard me the first time.

SAM
It's the ring, mr frodo.

FRODO
Oh, it's the ring, mr gamgee?

SAM
um....

He shrugs off the packs he's been carrying.

SAM
(continued)
Yeah.

FRODO
Well, maybe you should take it, Sam, instead of me doing everything around here.

SAM
you know, maybe i will...then at least i wouldn't have to put up with your complaining.

FRODO
Fuck you.

SAM
oh really? i should have fed you to the nazgul when i had the chance.

Frodo glares at him for a moment before storming off to the edge, whispering to the ring.

Sam sinks to his knees.

SAM
Fuck.

INT. PLAIN ROOM - DAY

Sam sits in a chair himself, fidgeting, not looking at the camera while speaking.

SAM
(to camera)
Compromise. That's what the elves say, it's what the dwarves tell you, it's what gandalf tells you. A relationship is all about give and take.
(beat)
i mean, we're like every other couple. we have our ups and our downs.
(beat)
But i think that goes straight out of the window when one of you starts waving the one ring of power around.

INT. PLAIN ROOM - DAY

Frodo sits in the chair by himslef, playing with something in his hands, just out of sight from us.

FRODO
(to camera)
I think he liked it. I think it gave him a chance to let all of his little fantasies run riot. He denied it of course, you'd think someone in the presence of the one ring would feel compelled to tell the truth.
(beat)
Perhaps not. But I'd catch him staring at it.

INT. BAG END - DAY

Frodo and sam are sitting smoking. the ring hangs around frodo's neck.

Sam stares longingly at it.

INT. PLAIN ROOM - DAY

Frodo sits on the couch, becoming more comfortable.

FRODO
(to camera)
It was almost fetishistic.
(beat)
Unhealthy.



Apologies for the non-standard script formatting, but i couldn't make it work properly.

Postman Pat faced a serious dilemma this morning - he simply had far more packages to deliver than he could carry.

I'm on holiday. Heelloo day time telly.

*gloat*

PS. Postman Pat written by big Chuck P: Postman Pat faced a serious dilemma this morning - he simply had far more bags of human fat than he could carry. "But what the hey", says Pat, "I'll just shoot myself in the head and it'll all be ok".

not content with longest film, a miscellany of awards and a haircut that suggests that he doesn't live in a house where sharp objects are allowed, peter jackson has also managed to have the longest credits too...

Harry, you must have been typing out your post as I was reading the original... Fight Club, not LOTR, that is.

What if somebody else had written lord of the rings? for example, what if Chuck Palahniuk had taken a stab at it?




"Frodo gets me a job as a waiter, after that Mr. Frodo's pushing Sting in my mouth and saying, the first step to eternal life is you have to die. For a long time, though, Frodo and I were best friends. People are always asking me, did I know about Frodo Baggins.

The tip of the sword just touched the back of my throat, Frodo says, "We really won't die."

With my tongue I can feel the fuller forged into the bottom of the blade. Most of the weight of a sword is in the middle, a mass increasing as the blade broadens for extra cutting power. To reduce the weight and improve manueverability, you forge channels in the face of the blade. This makes it light for its width but helps it retain some cutting power.

You forge the fullers too thin, and the blade can break in your hand.

"This isn't really death," Frodo says. "We'll be legend. We won't grow old."

I tongue the elven blade into my cheek and say, Mr. Frodo, you're thinking of ringwraiths.

The mountain we're standing on won't be here in ten minutes. You take a 98 percent concentration of a fuming portion of a dark lord's power and add it to molten gold. Then, pour the gold into a mold in the shape of a ring. Take it out of the mold and remove the sprues in a closed environment, and you have a ring of power.

I know this because Frodo knows this.

Throw the ring into the fires in which it was forged, and you get a massive explosion that brings down the mountain. A lot of folk feed them to dragons or pay a Balrog to lash the ring. Dragons and Balrogs have never, ever worked for me.

So Frodo and I are on top of Mount Doom with Sting stuck in my mouth, and we hear rocks crumbling. Look over the edge. It's always a cloudy day, especially this high up. This is Middle Earth's most evil mountain, and on top of it the wind is always cold. It's so quiet this high up, the feeling you get is that you're one of those Nazgul steeds. You do the little job you're told to do.

Get ridden to battle.

Confront a shield maiden.

You don't understand any of it, and then you just die.

Three-thousand feet up up, you look over the edge of the cliff and the plane below is mottled with a shag carpet of orcs, walking, marching to the West. The stone crumbling is the cliff-face right below us. Gollum climbs up the side of mountain, eyes big as Gandalf's old hat as he picks his way up slowly. Bits of ragged clothing catch on jagged rocks and drop, getting smaller, disappearing into the packed crowd."