Friday, February 28, 2003

They all look so very tempting...apart from the top left.
It looks like the tool of choice for the Dr Bunsen Honeydew fetishists

Wednesday, February 26, 2003

Somewhere in the world is an industrial designer with far too much time on their hands


click it. you know you want to.

Tuesday, February 25, 2003

Some days, news finds you...
After finally following the lesbian slasher link (ok, I know I'm slack these days) and realising that it happened in berkshire (where I "lived" for a year) I clicked on the the local news for Newbury and Thatcham (where I used to live) to see if anything had happened since I left. This is a town, remember, that has so little news that the local paper is only printed once a week, although whe I was there, there was a flurry of excitement when a policeman was attacked by youths, had superglue squirted in his eyes and was thrown over a bridge into the river Kennet. It was later discovered that there were no youths, and the crazy cop had done it to himself cause he was depressed... but anyway, I digress - that just gives you an inkling of what the townsfolk are like - another inkling would be to point out that Hungerford, site of the infamous Michael "I am Rambo" Ryan massacre was just down the road. I'm getting to my point, really I am - one of the other headlines on that site was this: Nine-year-old's suicide after Playstation fight. Scary.

This is so Spinal Tap, it's scary - 97 people died after a rock band, Great White, failed to inform the club they were playing in that they used pyrotechnics on stage, and the nightclub caught fire... story here, as well as a li'l report from our friends at TSG.

Monday, February 24, 2003

err Alex, Scousers are from Liverpool,I'm a Scot me!

Sunday, February 23, 2003

via comes this shocker, Prison for lesbian slasher.

A teenage lesbian who went berserk after discovering her partner had been having sex in a churchyard with her best friend was jailed for three years on Friday.
I wonder how England's killer goth lesbians compare to Germany's. (Insert jokes about Berkshire here)

In other news, if you're in Melbourne, make sure you check out the T-Shirt Show on at the Fitzroy Gallery, Fitzroy St, before Thursday. The Broken Pac-Man shirt I inspired is on display, as are oodles of trendy slackerwear.

Pol old chum just think of the damage you'll be able to inflict, sober, in the next swedge that you find yourself in. "These hands are registered as lethal weapons, me." Thought about sitting cross-legged contemplating the Universal Oneness? Pol the Zen Scouser Warrior Monk. All you need is a channel nine logo on your forhead and you're set. This fellow brings fresh meaning to the word 'dothead' ... Lei-Fei from Virtua Fighter 4. "Hobby: Praying."

Saturday, February 22, 2003

well here's a thing.

I've had a kind of epiphany,I am totaly and ridiculously dependent on booze.
It's a kind of anaesthetic to me soul.
It does me no favours.And indeed brings out the prick in me.
So no more.
Thats the fags gone and now the booze.

And what caused this sudden out of body veiw of self?

getting into a drunken ruckus and getting a bloody nose.

Claret everywhere.

Righto well I feel bloody good for soemone with a busted hooter,so I am off to town to see something in the cine,a,I have been to the art gallery already and who knows where after that?


Friday, February 21, 2003

ooooh i made a link!

But really it's amazing the double stand=ard used in the US.
No one is a rcist in America,unles it's an indian in which case you can trot out any stereotype and do as you please.
frinstance,Apu,a funny character and all but if he were a black guy and the same principle was employed he'd be little more than a Zip Coon vaudeville nigger.

Odd,thought provoking,left handed.



check this out,
An Indian Canadian deported by the US for ...well....for being Indian.

several hours later and I realise now that I am actually coming down with something.
Hang overs should get better not worse.
That's what tipped me off to it.



Thursday, February 20, 2003


frenchman in my head.

right I am officially toooo bloody old for speed.

The things that make perfect sense at the time,Hey it's 1 in the morning I wonder if Newcastle has any lap dance places?


Stupid stupid Sigersonic.

I thought that sharks were like Bears and tigers in that they are all trade unionists and all left handed !

Am getting a new tattoo. of a pencil with wings and a banner around it saying "mighty"


when you have a huge coffee and a coke in front of you,you know you have been very foolish.

on the up side I still didn't smoke!!

love to you all


Sharks are like bears and tigers, they're so far removed from my sphere of existence that no matter what common sense tells me, I still can't get my head around the fact that they're a real threat. (And yes, I know sharks are like bears and tigers in that they kill you.)

Overheard in the kitchen yesterday: "No Purdey, it's a poppy seed bagel, not puppies eat bagel."

Wednesday, February 19, 2003

apparently Simon Ashford had an up close and personal with a shark yesterday.

oooh cack in a wet suit

Friday, February 14, 2003

I think it is the first few bars of Amazing Grace on a loop.

I was in a fake Oirish Baaaar (dee diddle diddle dee diddle de diddle) and saw it live.

Woo Hoo .

Saw off the near full strength Hengerlahn team,and then 22 fresh legs!!!

Old Franco Farina looked like he'd shot his bolt in his tracky daks.

Much fun, Hengerlahn supporters had afew interesting takes on it,everything from it being only a freindly so we let them win,to the alignment of the planets.

The unspoken but I think feared idea was that the aussies were limbering up to get real good at this oine too.
Next thing you know they'll be round to empty the silver ware cabinet.



I amlooking into getting my passport !!!!
The weird thing is that Australia house in London has no phone number.
no really

Thankyou kindly. *ahem* *runs around with shirt pulled over head* *chants loudly* (to the tune of 'here we go) three-one three-one three-one! ... three-one three-one three-one! ... three-one three-one three-one ... three-one! three-ee-one!

Erm what's the original name of that tune? Anyone?

Thursday, February 13, 2003

Alacazammy Stairheid Rammy

Over at evworld, an electric vehicle site, they have an interesting theory about the impending 'restructuring' (ha ha) of Iraq. Something to do with Saddam using the Euro to sell oil instead of the greenback ... the Gnomes of Zurich will have something to say about this, you mark my words.

There's a spooky quote in this email from Davos that shares an insight into the Iraq situation:

I learned from American security and military speakers that, "We need to attack Iraq not to punish it for what it might have, but preemptively, as part of a global war. Iraq is just one piece of a campaign that will last years, taking out states, cleansing the planet."
In other news, the atheists have something interesting to say about the so-called alleged "St. Valentine's Day":
In early Rome, the evening of February 14th was the beginning of the fertility celebration of Lupercus and Faunus. (It was also the feast of Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, but this is irrelevant to the Valentine story.)

Faunus was a Roman pastoral god that came to be identified by the Romans with the Greek god Pan, the horned satyr. ("Faunus" is derived from the Latin favere meaning "favors," as he was supposed to grant favors to the participants in the festival.) Lupercus was the son of the Diana who lived with wolves (possibly a tie-in to Romulus and Remus, who also lived with and were raised by wolves.) Lupercus is easily identifiable in Roman art as he usually wears a wolf pelt. Each day Lupercus would wake up and journey across the heavens. Gathering the souls of those who had died, he would deliver them to Luna, the moon goddess.

During the festival, teenagers and young adult males would meet at a cave called the Lupercal below the Palentine where they would sacrifice goats or dogs to Faunus. The skins of the animals were then peeled and cut into wet strips called Februa (from which we derive the name February for the month). The males would take these strips into the heart of the city and use them to randomly beat people (particularly women).

On the second day of the festival, each man would draw the name of one of the women who had been hit with the Februa, and she would be coupled with him until the next festival. (This was a voluntary coupling; the woman was under no legal or social obligation to stay with the man.) It was basically just an excuse to sleep with someone for a year without commitment or obligation. Think of it as an L.A. marriage vow.

If you're following the growing Anthrax vaccinations debacle you might like to read this piece from about a 25 year-old ex-Special Forces Ranger coping with Gulf War Syndrome.
It was, the doctor at the Long Beach Veteran's Administration Hospital said, an incidental finding. A little gray smudge on the X-ray, a blob next to the pituitary gland.

Six months later, University of California at Los Angeles surgeons worked six hours to sever a tumor from the brain of a muscular, 25-year-old ex-Special Forces Ranger and Gulf War veteran. The costly surgery was performed at UCLA, the patient said, because VA doctors denied that the "incidental finding" caused his excruciating, unremitting headaches.

He blamed Army-administered drugs for the tumor. And his girlfriend said there were other "side effects" of his service in the Gulf, including increased agitation and sperm that "burned."

the fuck?
"We had a third day of shots before we went over (to the Gulf)," said the ex-Ranger, who requested anonymity because his Army Reserve commitment has yet to expire. "Guys in other units only had two, but most Rangers had three. They wouldn't tell us what they were for."

Here's Pol's link in a more clickable format. Pol can you wave your hat for us mate! And snap that link when you get a chance, it's blowing the page width out. (O_o)

Wednesday, February 12, 2003

If you go here

you'll see melbourne street.I work at the end of it.
I just noticed this morning


Friday, February 07, 2003

I am now officially funny.

I know this because a random kook from the newsgroups emailed me to say ...

Subject: Re: Fatherly insult
Date: Thu, 6 Feb 2003 19:35:14 -0600
From: "The Kenosha Kid"

OMFG! This post left me all laughing in tears and shit! HAW HAW excellent
job, mang! I'm nominating it in



> > I tried insulting my son today by calling him "the son of a silly person".
> > He just laughed at me.
> > I repeated the insult using ALL CAPS and it still didn't work.
> > Should I try helvetica next, or, perhaps, times roman?

> Comic Sans, because it's funnier
> then try Arial and see if he notices the difference
> then carve it into his forhead in mirror writing with a pen-knife
> then rub salt into the wound
> with a spoon
> of bees

> Grandpa Simpson: "I used to be with 'it', but then they changed what 'it' was.
> Now what I'm with isn't 'it' anymore and what's 'it' seems weird and scary."

I owe special thanks to Harry for making sure we all know that Bees are Funny.

Thursday, February 06, 2003

Funny, I thought the French were part of NATO. Did they sign that with the Pentagon or with the Whitehouse? Which one is in charge these days? In other news, North Korea have asserted their right to pre-emptive strikes.

"The United States says that after Iraq, we are next", said (Foreign Ministry) deputy director Ri Pyong-gap, "but we have our own countermeasures. Pre-emptive attacks are not the exclusive right of the US."
Via our mate acb at the null device.

In a delightful display of hill billy politicking.

If they aint a with us then their agin us.

Pentagon declares France no longer an ally

Sunday, February 02, 2003

can someone make sure i buy this book this week.

thank you!

Saturday, February 01, 2003

Get a fish-eye lens guys and the buggers'll move in no time.