Monday, April 30, 2001

3. "I've got some great cds - which do you like best, Celine Dion or Michael Bolton?"

i was actually at somebodies house & that was exactly what they had sitting on top of their stereo.....that plus mariah cary.

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

they must be educated..........fools.

Do you think little Johnny Howard's starting to worry yet? Three headlines from The Age breaking news index...

Aust's trading relationship with Japan not stagnating: PM

GST should not be blamed for every price rise, says Howard

Aust's relationship with China not shaky: Howard

Thursday, April 26, 2001

*post made under duress*

people who are ace to live with are bill.

Further to my last post, I'd like to add a couple more 'Not cool' people;

6. Corpulent old men who do that nasty lizard tongue thing where they have to poke it out of the corner of their mouths and wriggle it around and keep licking their papery lips when they have to do anything complicated like read a newspaper or not keel over dead.
7. People who smell of wee.

Especially for Harry...

People who would make cool housemates
1. Really really tiny people who could live in a hive style community of matchboxes in the spare room, cause you could make hundreds of thousands in rent each week.
2. Someone who understands the benefit of taking a sickie to watch videos at home.
3. Anyone who says, "I've just made a roast dinner - want some?" as you come home from work.
4. Fast bathroom people.
5. Dogs.

People who would not make cool housemates
1. Anyone who reaches for their crystals/dreamcatcher/runes when times get hard.
2. Yellow polo shirt wearing middle managers.
3. "I've got some great cds - which do you like best, Celine Dion or Michael Bolton?"
4. Anyone who wears a Jim Beam singlet so they can show off their prison tattoos.
5. Paul Daniels

somebody post, i'm bored.

Wednesday, April 25, 2001

aha! i found it......

Tuesday, April 24, 2001

he was the bloke from dracula 2000......................................not that i've seen it or anyfing

I wouldn't mind if that was the face of the next James Bond. Unless he zounds loik eez ferm Zummerzet, of course, that never work...
"Hellooo... moi name's Bornd, Jaeeemz Bornd"

Hey, did you know that broccoli the vegetable (and a vegetable that sits snugly at no. 3 in my all time favourite vegetables list - no.s 1 and 2 are corn and courgette/zucchini respectively) was so named because it was "invented" by Cubby Broccoli's grandad/great uncle?

Are chives herb or vegetables? I thought they would be herbs, but if they're not I might seriously have to consider my commitment to having broccoli at no.3. Unless bacon was a vegetable, in which case it would sink even further in the hit parade. Makes you think, doesn't it?

I'll get me coat.

James Bond News..... is this the face of the next James Bond? Barbara Broccoli seems to think so..... hooray we won't have to put up with Russell Crowe... I would SO boycott James Bond movies with him in them.

I had the grooviest link to post, but SOMEBODY stole the computer off me last night... and it was one that i can't *ahem* access from work...... maybe later tonight.

Monday, April 23, 2001

Hey Billyjoe.. are you confused? Cause I can't think of anything where the answer to a question might be Troxtworth O'Grady, USA...

And by the way, now that the moment has well and truly past, I've finally uploaded and linked the pics from the road trip. The moral of this tale?
htttp://geocites/feistynooodle/canberrablog.html won't get you anywhere...

just testing that my name has in fact changed from my normal, day to day name..........

a) Troxtworth O'Grady, USA

b) 604, but he used small cocktail marshmallows, so there has been some question concerning the validity of this particulr record.

sssssssssssscccccccccccccccrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtttttttttttttttttttttttttttt, OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

(harry tears off his ex-flatmates leg & drains all of the fluid from his body, before leaving it in a bucket beside his bed for him to find in the morning.)


Ahh, it's all getting a bit strange here today, isn't it? I blame the Liberals.

Okay, so Bill and I drove to Canberra at the weekend - or rather he drove and I sat in the passenger seat and felt embarrassed about being 27 and still not being able to drive.
The trip up proved to be interesting - with my new Yuppievision™ digital camera, we had all the fun of wasting film with no development costs! Not forgetting the fun of reviewing our work, and watching the battery power shrink like an ice cube in the sink.. check out the road fever..
If you're not aware of this, Canberra is a weird and creepy place. It would possibly look less disconcerting if it was called "BIOSPHERE CANBERRA" and had an enormous glass dome built over the entire city. But, as the National Gallery of Australia had elected to borrow various paintings by Monet from around the world, we felt compelled to "get" culture and check it out.

Good things about CanberraBad things about Canberra
Monet exhibitionTotal lack of road signs until after the junctions
Good coffeeThe captain cook memorial ejaculatory fountain thingy wasn't on
quesadillos for brekkiecrazy arsed church bell ringing dudes
wimbaliri 1998 cabernet merlotidiot banjo player with his big stupid face
fireworksgoing into a porn shop (hey, for the experience of it!!) and seeing a porn video starring Vince Neil from Motley Crue

*BLART sproingoingoingoing WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP*
(Bort steps on a duck, jumps in shock landing on the back of an emu and aforementioned emu runs around in circles in panic, causeing Bort to make amusing whooping sounds.)

(Eve rides past on an itinerant woolly mammoth, dressed as the bride of Frankenstein)

(billyjoebob bounces down the stairs, riding his cock like a pogo stick)

Wednesday, April 18, 2001

Posted on behalf of Alex 4.0 who couldn't post to the blog the other day...

Thoughts from Galway, Ireland: Someone forwarded me the Jedi/Census nonsese. If you really want to throw a spanner in the works, put fnord or SubGenius or Discordia. Or maybe even slack. Or something.

And Alex, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, you old git!

*falls over*

*breaks hip*

Hi all. I keep bleating on about e-sheep but in these special times it's worth the bleating. I'll be back in the Antipodes soon enough so I'll talk more then. It's my birthday tomorrow! I'm 26. Bugger.

Tuesday, April 17, 2001

Overheard while out at lunch - "You know at least 80% of the conversations are 'Where are you?', 'I'm here..'"

It's pretty sad when not only do you instantly recognise what someone else is talking about, but you're guilty of said conversation.. (with at least 2 fellow bloggers, no less!!)

Thursday, April 12, 2001

Durrr of course I will watch both versions of Nosferatu... I'm trying to plan things so I never have to leave the house again. Purdey, Faithful Hound Unless Someone Else Has Food, is not too convinced, but I think if we watch enough films with barking sounds in them, she'll be ok..

And hello Harry/Paul/Bob/Trevor - you have to press Publish once you've posted otherwise it doesn't show up on the website :-) (Sorry about this, blog-fu for the anally retentive.)

Wednesday, April 11, 2001


About time you got the DVD player woman,.. now you can be sitting watching Bond films and drinking homemade cider. I will of course be enforcing that you also watch BOTH of my versions of Nosferatu, since nobody else seems interested.

Ok, time to break with a day and a half old tradition and write to my own blog. Yes, playing virtual Scalextric against a Swedish cockatoo was great fun - in fact much more so than working...
Having said that, there's not much to write home about since the other day, apart from my acquisition of a DVD PLAYER and, oh yeah, a BEEG TV!

I refuse to continue this "trend" of being the only person who posts here.

Tuesday, April 10, 2001

and nothing - no response whatsoever - i know why - you're all mesmerised by the prospect.... nay the realisation of your dream to play virtual slotcars against a cockatoo in swedish...... rock on

Monday, April 09, 2001

you see, i knew that if i searched for long enough i could find the ultimate use for the internet... the one single site that show us the final truth, the place at which all questions are answered .... and now, my friends, i pass this gem of knowledge to you, my brothers and sisters.... click

Friday, April 06, 2001

Ooh, time for a poo story.. it's icky, but well, kinda funny.

I used to work with this guy - so, no, it's not an urban myth - who liked, on a friday night to go out for curry and beer and have a mighty good time. Whilst out one night he got talking to this chick, and they combined resources and went drinking and currying together. Anyway, the next morning, my friend woke up feeling very very hungover and realised two things - one; he was not alone in his bed and two; he'd had a bad case of the shits during the night. My friend - who at this part of the story I wish was more of an acquaintance - woke the woman up, shouted "Look at what you've done, you dirty bitch!" and kicked her out of the house...

Poo is funny - as long as it happens to someone else...

the exception which proves my theory that poo is always funny

Umm, ok, so I'm sad, and one day I'll have a tweed skirt and wander round the park muttering "walkies.. c'mere, you wanna biscuit?" but Purdey was feeling lonely!! Barry just doesn't have the same intellectual capacity!

Ok. Seeing as everyone who read this thought I had acquired another puppy; fear not! Look to the left.... Purdey just thought she should have a permalink in the blog, seeing as she gets mentioned a lot.

well i should fucking well hope so

oh dear......

Well, Bill - you forgot it in more ways than one. Cause you posted it on Monday. All together now..... Ahhhhhlzheimers!!

oh shit yeah - i forgot - the degrassi drinking game *giggle* you know you want to, Snake.

Thursday, April 05, 2001

Big Kev rocks. Not just cos he's my dad though!

Li'l Kev
(I'm actually just testing my new profile changes)

I'm wondering what the point is of banning R rated films on Good Friday and Christmas Day is? Do you become twice as corrupted on those days? Is it a "do not pass go, do not collect $200" ticket straight to hell?

I get very concerned when our Fearless Leaders start jumping up and down about Christian values and the moral majority - especially as I consider myself somewhat in the moral minority. And I'm not particularly excited about politicians using censorship as a political tool - anyone remember the controversy over Lolita and the lack thereof for Happiness??

This blog is proudly sponsored by the Pedant Linking Service.

ok so hangon, hop off the bandwagon, this article says that the ban applies to all R rated movies.... i dunno - as i said - i already saw it...

The thing about The Exorcist (shame on you, noodle, for not linking), is that there were several Jesuit priests involved in the filming, and that it portrays the inevitable triumph of good over evil, and of God over Satan... why this isn't deemed as a suitable movie to show during a festival celebrating the ressurection of the One True King, I know not... in any case, I've already seen it (having never seen it before) and it ROCKED... one of the few genuinely scary movies I've ever seen - there were moments in it which chilled me to the core. Freidkin is a dead set legend.

The Exorcist is not allowed to be shown in the state of Victoria on Good Friday! (Makes crazy indignant huffing noises) And why? Because it's too offensive to Christians! I'll give 10 cents to anyone who can name six people they know to be practicing Christians!!
So who does Bracksy think is gonna be offended? Because if he thinks they're going to be offended by the Exorcist, won't they possibly be offended by Almost Famous (worshipping false idols), Amores Perros (swearing - the title means Love's a bitch), Dude, where's my car (stupidity - ok, that doesn't break any commandments, but you know it should!) and Quills (I'm sure the Christians have something to say!)
And what about people from other cultural backgrounds? Aboriginals don't appreciate seeing images of aboriginals who are now dead, in Chinese culture, the number 4 is deeply inauspicious - it was for the Lethal Weapon series, too, heheh - and Muslims aren't too keen on images of humans at all. And I'm not even going to talk about offending all those Satanists....


Tuesday, April 03, 2001

Oh lordy.


ummm i don't have any contributions to make to the penis naming/george lucas is a cumsock debate - i must say that, however, when you really think about it,

star wars sucked too.
It was just that it was so cool at the time, and we'd never seen anything like it before. but really - if you analyze the story -

it sucked.
and don't get me wrong - i know every word and i've seen it a zillion times.

but it sucked. badly.
the character development was sophomoric at best, the freaky incestuous relationship between luke and leia..... the GAPING plot holes (how come leia got to be a princess, but luke had to be a bogan on the galactic equivalent of Nebraska? (let's face it - he should have had a mullet) i mean - really - the whole "oh yes you're an orphan who grew up on a farm but really you're king of the world" thing had been done to death even then.....

it sucked.

rock on

Bouncing back (a la Foozwah) to the bits naming conventions, when I was a kid, my friend used to call her bits "tuppence" too - I never understood it either..
Hey, this reminds me, has anyone seen the scene in Singles, when one of the characters was a little boy, his mom takes him to the doctor to explain about sex and he tells his friends about it in the playground...

" The man sticks his penis into the woman and something shoots out!"
"Eeewww, what?!"

But I really shouldn't mock, I remember being little - well, nine or ten - and thinking that the word wanker meant someone who has sex during the daytime! (and to be honest, I couldn't really see what the problem was!)

Ahh George Lucas. You silly little man. It's the "no, I do have a jawline" beard that irritates me.. He should have just done the decent thing and had a rock n roll style death before the ole preservation instinct kicked in..... My theory is that he just got too attached to those $$$$ and in doing so, lost any and all credibility.
On a related note, anyone remember Poltergeist? The kids' bedroom is swamped in Star Wars merch.. nothing like a bit of free advertising from your good buddy, Poltergeist producer Steven Spielberg! Oh bizarre...

Monday, April 02, 2001

Hi guys! We were going to go here, but we forgot. Might do on the way back. Went to the Europa though -- and took obligatory 'let's blow the fucker up!' photos. Went to the 'peace' wall in Belfast ... it's taller than the Berlin Wall, something the locals are apparently curiously proud of. That's because they weren't throwing molotovs and rocks over the top in Berlin, you nutters. This is a cross-blog-post - bad Blogger!

Aaahhhh... clearly we (ok, some honourary) Victorians like our freedom....

And on a completely unrelated note, Purdey showed me this. She says you ought to check it out and now can she have some more food please?

Damn, Bill, don't you have any work to do?

in a sillier note, you all knew it was time for a Degrassi drinking game

click here
we invited Russell Crowe - here's his answer

Sunday, April 01, 2001

You. Whatever you're doing, stop it now and go see The Exorcist. It's very very very good. Stop reading! Go on, go! Now!!