Tuesday, July 30, 2002

Robocop would have been ok... I was something from Tr*nsf**mers... ouch! (Harry, I'm sure you can sympathise with that one!!)
Had my first foray into the Melbourne Film Festival last night... and saw a Richard Linklater film called Tape. Which I can recommend seeing, especially if it's on again at some point... it's funny how you forget that a film doesn't need costume changes, amazing sets and a cast of thousands to achieve something that really works well. (The film was based on a play, all filmed in the one room.) And it also made me remember that Ethan Hawke is actually quite a talented actor...

so of course i was fascinated by the link to the website in an unidentified european language. First of all, I had to identify what language it was. My first stop was, of course, google, which pointed me to a lovely tool made by Xerox called xrce. Now knowing that it was dutch, I grooved over to worldlingo for a handy online dutch translation tool. And now, untouched by human hands, here is the text from the link about speed cameras in wheelie bins. Was it worth the 45 minutes? you decide.

The police force fights with open sight; it goes them indeed to it does not apply, but the behaviour must be improved.

For this reason it is also no longer then logically that you have been establishing, just like recently in engeland, radar equipment clearly visible.
And with that it the police force among others zwolle enters by the basket. Where and when these photograph is made, tell it does not recover.

But certain that is Chris us a very clarifying, eersteklas special concerned concerning possibly the most gluiperige graaimethode of our vaderlandse law servants. The men those dermate little conscience have which them this spul use, may what concerns us the container. Inspectors) are prima biologically degradable.

I think I need a drink, I'm beginning to feel biologically degradable.

btw: film festival = good. Ethan Hawke has made it off The List. Go see Tape.

Monday, July 29, 2002

Mr 4.0, in wedding related goodness, we must engage in earnest discussion concerning your contribution to the afternoon's decor.... urgent enquiries should be diverted to our relevant personal communication devices as soon as possible. Also, the current Feistynoodle Poster's Kilt Count (tm) is sitting at two for the festivities in October. If we can't get you into a bee costume, mr harry, what's the chance of a kilt?

Saturday, July 27, 2002

Feisty: Let me guess, you got the queer Sonic 2 End Boss one? Robocop? I re-sat the fucker and scored Gigantor. Mmm ... robot cred. Robots have been on the brain lately -- I picked up Harry Harrison's War With The Robots from the local church op shop -- and it's an hysterical read. I can't help but imagine Bender from Futurama in all of the robotty bits. Which is most of them.

And now, fake nipples and speed cameras hidden in wheelie bins in the UK. Mind you, if I saw a wheelie bin take my photo I'd back over the fuckin' thing. Perhaps it has a 'Maclom'esque escape procedure. While my connection struggled downloading the page, I wondered if they were actually some kind of special reinforced-concrete-filled wheelie bin, designed to dissuade drivers from running them down in the road. On second thoughts, that doesn't make any sense at all. Ahem. Yes, those were the same nipples that were featured in 'Single Female Fashion Victims'^W^W^W^W 'In-out in the Big Smoke'. Is it just me or are those ladies in a race to kill themselves with lung cancer and/or STDs? "I'm wishing cancer on you. Head cancer."

Both from the same source, CheezyPeaz, an old mate from high school, and a fellow member of the elite 'getting married' cabal.

Some Global Community Announcements: Adbusters, and a little thing called Memefest.

edit: one day, one day, soon, I will larn me some HTML.

Friday, July 26, 2002

Oh lordy - you don't want to know which Colossal Death Robot I turned out to be - let's just say - Yoda would have been an improvement...

You know it's bad when the Blogger link in your favourites drops off the "most used" list... I haven't been on here in so long! That's because I've
1. Tried to avoid coughing up one or both of my lungs
2. Been working
3. Been sorting out wedding stuff and last, but possibly more useful than the other three (except maybe the bit about the lungs, I'm kind of attached to them)

Now, if only our Blonkmobile was back in action... (5 more sleeps)

Oh Sweet Bob. Lookit. Inane web-quiz/survey gold. I think I even have the edition of 2000AD this image is from.

Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?


*crickets chirping sfx*

Okayy... so everyone must be

a) busy with new-financial-year related work
b) dead
c) supine from sexual exhaustion
d) dead drunk
e) observing the passing of someone significant, whilst forgetting to inform me
f) busy with "getting married" stuff

So I went to the Slashdot meetup thingy. So many young nubile geeky types. So little time. And me without my rohypnol stash. It was a good evening, lots of email addresses changing hands. Some guy (Nathan Cochrane) from The Age left his details, but I folded them into a frog. Bwa. Bwaha.

It was supposed to be at Bliss on Queen St, but that place didn't open until 8:30. Echoes of the Weblogger meetup, which was supposed to be at Starfucks at 7pm, which closed at 6:30. A handful of us went to the Underground gym complex, and caught a few quick pervs until we decided to take it to Robot Sushi, in Bligh Place. Double-checking at Bliss again we discovered that a bunch of other geeks had made a previous executive decision and had moved the event to e55, on Elizabeth St. Beer was consumed, Go was played on my Palm V, bullshit was discussed. More perv action was performed. Ende.

Tuesday, July 23, 2002

I've just been psychoanalyzed by Hello Kitty. Her diagnosis:

"All the questions above is to test your stress level and test if you are able to handle your stress.

The last destiny will indicate your type and show you how to deal with it.

You have a fair stress level.

One of the reasons for this is your conscious awareness to release your stress before letting it get worst.

However when you come across many troubles at the same time, you might unable to handle it. There comes the problem. For this type you better enjoy the green and wood.

As long as you are in the natural environment, you will be peaceful to resolve any problems."

Harry: If that doesn't work, try an episode of Viz's 'Dr Poo', transformed into Flash. It's worth it, if only to hear the accents and to marvel at how much the Borg owe the Cybermen ... and to see the sign on the Dalek toilet door. There's plenty of other weird shit to download there too.

Saturday, July 20, 2002

I think the sooner you out yourself Bill and declare your undying love for me, the better: we can all get on with our lives, and you can stop worshipping me (^_^)

At least i went, peanutpants. I was making little flyers for papercrane.org, even though a) I wasn't 100% sure of the URL, and b) I didn't know at the time that the site was down. There are still bits and pieces cached at google though. And I'm not even a member!

I had a good chat with an interesting kiwi bloke, Bruce Hill who had converted to Judaism, umm, a little chat (more of a listen) to pixelkitty (some nasty mental images with that alias, I'm afraid) and her b/f Mark(?) who maintains a melbourne graffiti archive, no, not melbournegraff.cjb.net. the other one.

So how do you know I didn't publicise feistynoodle? Didn't know it was in my brief, mr HR man. Not even my damn blog. Maybe if you CAME you could have done some PIMPING of your own... I did in fact mention it a couple of times, and wrote it down on the damn paper they were passing around. That's both your points slowly sinking to the silty floor of the intarwebnet ocean. Do you still want origami thingumujiggies? The day must be getting close, right?

PS I think Lyle from Achewood is really Pol. He plays the bass, too. OH NOS, I can see the web quiz now ... Which Achewood Character Are You? And everyone will want to be Phillipe.

Edit: added Mark's graffiti site URL. Also, can someone tell me why a post i deleted is still on feisty's site? waa

Friday, July 19, 2002

whoops - anybody who's gotten invitiations to a wedding in the last couple of days might want to hold off on the rsvps.... it may get postponed until we get a chance to see if Angie wants to be included.

and you're right, achewood is pretty damn funny.

if you ever wanted to see what mr 4.0 looks like, here's your chance. He's the one in the middle looking more like an androngynous, serial killing android than anyone else..... here And don't give me shit for posting it fleagle, it's your own fault for

a) not publicising feistynoodle
b) spending the whole night making origami and not talking to anyone (as is evidenced here, here and here)
c) erm... can't think of a reason right now.

Thursday, July 18, 2002

HAHAHAHAHAHA achewood is so good ... waaaaa

see you at seven, goatlickers!

bleeeaarrrrggghhhhhh - hey mr 4.0 - is there any work going at your redacted mob? me and you and pol should form out own company called "redundant geeks"... we could make millions advising people on how to find free pron on the internet.

Wednesday, July 17, 2002

There is a solution to the venue problem. Get blisteringly drunk beforehand, and then attend event 'in character'. Erm yeah well that's that idea. you *know* there are going to be digital cameras a-go-go so do you really want to let people know who you are? Could always just say 'DSD' or 'ASIO' when people ask. Dress up, dress down, who cares, just don't drink the fucking coffee or I'LL SHOOT YOU. With my love gun. That's why I suggested vomiting all over that glass panel that hangs over Swanston St. It was all Thorin's idea. Thorin's this duuuuuuude from Critical Mass. He fixes bikes up at CERES and I'm sure he dresses up in armour and whacks trees with swords when no-one's looking. But he has good ideas. Like puking on the glass panel. And giant look-at-me stretch low-rider bikes with handlebars that come up to HERE!

I noticed the other Eve; she's an imposter... *wonders vaguely what TRIAL BY STONE is...*
I think this thing is tomorrow night... but at Starbucks...? Is this how low we've sunk? And you just *know* that some dude will turn up with an Apple notebook thingy, and start typing something interesting as other interested geeks in black trench coats sit in comfy "better than they have at home" couches and look on interestedly, forgetting for a moment their inner turmoil of "Starbucks corporate coffee whores vs this-is-actually-a-very-nice-grande-mocha-latte"...

nonono mr 4.0, I'm not an orgynizer, I've simply RSVPd. Having said that, I have no idea what when or where this thing is.

Tuesday, July 16, 2002

I just had a quick look at this bloggery thing ... looks like a mr. 'balkandishlex' is an organiser ... hmm ... and there will be a surplus of evies there! I know how to sort that one out. "TRIAL BY STONE!" <-- The Dark Crystal. Oh yes. So that's three Melbournites from this we-blog, huzzah. Anyone else planning to consume horrendous quantities of pizza, coke, and castor oil beforehand, in order to 'redecorate' the glass floor that hangs over the Swanston St footpath? Opera and bloggercode do not get on. We'll see how this goes.

you may be a geek if:

you find this amusing :
{erno} hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.
more top irc quotes here
slightly non worksafe.

I have great faith in you mr pol.

Well I have 5 days to learn the whole Max animation and particle system...so I wouldn';t get too excited about me having a future here.

Once more...in the shit



Saturday, July 13, 2002

mr pol: you could always resort to moving boxes of other people's shit around. it's character building. I work for ##REDACTED##, an 'office relocations' company in Melbourne. Oh no, they're not removalists, or anything like that. They've just 'rebranded' and, guess what, they've gone for an all lower-case company logo. It's like it's 1996 all over again! Just in time for the Arial witch-hunt as well. We relocated a ##REDACTED## branch today. Could I resist the temptation to look up ##REDACTED## during smoko? Could I hell.

Melbourne blogmeet: who's game? If so, hurry and stack that poll in favour of the pub, not the Starfucks or the Food Court. Thankyew. Wait, here's the right link.

Friday, July 12, 2002

mr pol: personal experience tells me that being made redundant = arse.arse arse arse arse arse.

there. i feel a little better now.

in the news....got made redundant yesterday.

htere's a lot of it about.

going to work at act3 on monday...scared.

Fucking hang over yo ucaould sell to science here.Conclusive proof that sorrrows float.


Feisty: I have an Atari with Pac Man (complete with lame sound effects that are nothing like the arcade original, the Atari Pac Man goes BONK BONK BONK in phat 4-bit sound like only an Atari can, the arcade original goes ... wa wa wa wa ... and I go ... wee wee wee wee ... all the way home!) sitting in my 'obscure consoles' box.

Bill: I also have that elite rifle accessory, and two old consoles that it works with ... unfortunately I fried the cool 'tiny' console and so now only the lame larger console works. Kinda.

"Please drop your panties, I cannot wait till lunchtime" must have been translated to a few more english phrasebooks than originally anticipated.

Thursday, July 11, 2002

Video games... it was weird, the other night I was watching this show about apes who've learned to do sign language, and talk with a speech board etc etc... one of them was playing Pac Man... and I had this weird yearning for about a day afterwards, to have my old Atari back so I could play Pac Man, Frostbite (jump across rivers using icebergs! Avoid polar bears! And that's about all you could do!! - It was cool, and addictive, and I liked it.) adnd of course, Yars Revenge, whereby I first developed my disdain for reading manuals, and also unwittingly got a vague idea of what it must have been like to drop acid in 1976 (look at all the colours...)

Unrelated news #1 - has anyone heard that Mike Myers is apparently going to play the lead role in a biopic about Keith Moon? I wonder if they'll remember to film the episode when Keith was driven through Golders Green (big jewish area of London), standing up through the sun roof, dressed as a Nazi and shouting "Schnell! Schnell!! Das is meine Messerschidt! Ja!" or, well, something to that effect.

Unrelated news #2 - can anyone explain to me the new craze for dropping your pants in public? It happened a few days ago at a pride march in Florida - a guy shouted abuse at some of the marchers and then dropped his pants and hit the surprised marchers. And then today, some French guy cracked the shits in Miami International airport and dropped his pants in protest... bizarre.

Right, I'm off home to take more flu drugs and go to sleep. 'Night all!

So renting out my girlfriend to all my mates is a no no?

BLB,the correlation (or inverse relationship) between working with Vid games and being into them.
Keenly perceived.
And speaking from this side of the fence...no bloody sirprise either.

All the Best

Mr Polx

Wednesday, July 10, 2002

in other news, it looks like me and feisty should be quite alright, regardless how long it takes us to sue everyone.

so here's the thing..... if you go to this site, and look at the top right hand corner of the title artwork, you'll see that there's a motorcycle on the cover... a MOTORCYCLE!!! that would be so cool - that means that they at the very least have some new physics in GTA - VC. very exciting, if you're me.

which, come to think of it, you're not.

you know - it's interesting being the only person here (with the possible exception of mr 4.0) who's interested in videogames.
and simultaneously being the only person here (with the exception of mr 4.0) who doesn't work with them every day.

maybe there's something in that for all of us.

in other news, some information about pasta - According to The American Pasta Report, a survey commissioned by the NPA, among the reasons cited for pasta's increased popularity are its nutritional value, taste and convenience. Eighty-four percent of consumers consider pasta to be a healthy food and an important part of a well-balanced diet. In fact, 77 percent of the 1,003 Americans surveyed said they eat pasta at least once a week, while a third eat it three or more times a week.

This may explain why they're often quite fat

african viloet nuff said.



Tuesday, July 09, 2002

Oh bloody hell... this is worse than Yoda...

what's your inner flower?

s o g g y p o o

Prolonged time playing video games could cause people to lose concentration, get angry easily and have trouble associating with others, a Japanese professor's research has suggested. (from/.) - Looks like I'm somewhat in the clear though - apparently I fall into the "semi-videogame" category, because I only spend 1-2 hours playing videogames every day.

Don't blame me, blame Rockstar, they made GTA3. In related news, they've put up the first teaser site for GTA - Vice City, which looks like it's essentially set somewhere in a universe parallel to Miami Vice and Scarface (for those who remember, there were many references to Scarface in GTA3, not the least of which that some Columbians in the game will talk about "introducing you to the chainsaw")......

oh, and i'm a rose..... {singing} some say leerrrvvvvvvv, it is a flowwerrrrrrrr {/singing}

You are not your khakis. You are not a beautiful and individual snowflake. You are not an African Violet. Oh, wait, I am, apparently. More quiz nonsense via Daypop.

what's your inner flower?

[c] s u g a r d e w

The trouble with wondering about awful bosses is ... there's always a more worser one. Like that personification of Satan who runs the business representative body on the United States Territory of Saipan ... I swear I could smell the brimstone when he spoke. If you want to know what kind of sweatshop hell I'm talking about, check out witness.org. Via SBS a few weeks ago.

Hark at this - I'm sure everyone can think of someone who might qualify as a recipient for a Tony Award...

Sunday, July 07, 2002

I posted a bunch of shit but it disappeared. (Somebody kill me, I nearly posted 'dissapeared' instead of 'disappeared'.) Everyone go download 'American Army' and play it and then Ph34|2/weep for the current generation. I wonder, would Alex L get a court-martial or a promotion if he was a reservist and designed a level based on his barracks? We're in the Army now ... in the big TWAT.

Oh yeah, I was going to make a smart comment in relation to woomeras about the professional american boomerangerer who faces charges for attempting to carry boomerangs aboard a plane, and getting shitty with the *cough* rent-a-goon airport security when challenged. "My boomerang won't come back ..."

Meanwhile, in Scot-bashing news: Former Miss Scotland Realises TV Aspirations Through Porn. Both via Daily Rotten. Sue me.

PS Konqueror does not talk to Blogger too good. If anyone cares.

Thursday, July 04, 2002

Woomera:-A device for throwing pointed issues a very long distance.You got to love that.

Alex, you're now posting anonymously...?

Wednesday, July 03, 2002

Certain religious organisations that feature prominent celebrities as volunteer spokespersons (okay, you got me, I'm talking about Buddhism) have got me a-thinking: what would the Church of Dogfucking have as its tenets and dogma?

Hear me out. There's nothing funnier, kicking back in front of the television, than seeing the 'oh no, Rover is shagging my leg whilst I try to cook this barbeque' videos on Australia's Funniest Backyard Accidents. The act of an amorous pooch humping anything, including a willing recipient, is one we are all sooner or later conditioned to appreciate as humour. And why not? It's pretty fucking funny. (That was supposed to be a link to the rotten.com pic of the raccoon humping the dog, but I couldn't find it.)

Persons involved in dog breeding, and dog owners in general, pay extremely close attention to exactly who Sparky's parents were, or whether or not Missy is going to be good enough for breeding. The miracle of childbirth is more often than not explained to younger children through the conception, pregnancy and birth of a litter of puppies.

So why a Church of Dogfucking? Well, first of all, it implies something it's not. It would never involve the taboo subject of bestiality, even though many practitioners of this strongly assert that the dog's consent is always obtained. So it's just a vaguely sensational name. The lapel pins would look great though, wouldn't they? And the letterheads.

Most importantly, it would hopefully make people start to wonder if there should be a limit to what exactly can be called a 'church' of something. Should there be a Church of the Subgenius? A Universal Life Church? A Church of Elvis?

The First Australian Church of Dog Fucking. In the name of the Bitch, and the Mutt, and that hilarious humping action, woof-woof.