Thursday, February 28, 2002

"they gave me a picture of Adolf Hitler, with a caption reading 'this is your enemy'. I searched the train, but he wasn't on it"

rip spike :(
that totally bites.

he was one of the few people in this world who've actually been an inspiration to me.

Spike Milligan dead. Speechless.

this sucks. RIP Spike.

Yes. It counts. In a vague relation to my next novel *cough* there was a story on the radio this morning about a german film crew who were arrested when the kidnapping scene they were filming was thought to be an actual kidnapping by the police.

Wednesday, February 27, 2002

does rewriting count as actual writing?

if it does, then i've officially done the 2 things i wasn't sure about doing again.
if it doesn't, then i've only done the one :-)

funny how life just happens around you while you're thinking about what to do next.

and i sat down with a bit of my novel and read it tonight, with the vague thought i might try & finish it this weekend. it's not bad, but it's not very good either. still, learnt a lot. the next one (?) will be better

Tuesday, February 26, 2002

Christ on a bike, I'm so bored. Lala lala someone do something quick somebody, or I fear my brain will fester away (more).

Oh my god. American Psycho II: All American Girl is being made. And directed, no less, by one Morgan Freeman.

this is pretty damn cool - apparently it's the teaser site for the TRON sequel. which had better rock, or i may just lose it with a lump of four by two.

Before Looney Tunes became the bane of my life, when I was at Sony's Pigs*, we used to have a poster in the office that was printed after Mel Blanc died. It had all the Looney Tunes characters looking sad, and the word "speechless" underneath. Awww.


An addendum to Bill's post - the "cheaper" celebrant is a mere $600 dollars... All this for about 45 minutes on the day. I'm going to become a celebrant, and then retire in a couple of months.

Come get your fortune read!

Created by ptocheia


Monday, February 25, 2002

just to break up your posts mr bill.

triple post Life moves on. Wedding becoming distractingly close. Interviewing celebrants - which is a process fraught with danger... i mean, how do these people come up with their fees? It's not like there's some easily quantifiable difference in the service that they provide.. so when you like two of them, and one's two hundred pacific pesos more than the other do you:

a) throw fiscal responsibility to the wind and go with the one you like (i mean, it's not like we're going to do this again, and we Might As Well Have The Best), or do you

b) be Responsible With Your Money, and go with the cheaper one, even though she wasn't exactly right and you're frankly a little worried about what she's going to wear?

And above all else - who the hell is going to wear the bee costume?

in other, very sad, news... Chuck Jones has passed away. This is bad. He rocked.

this is interesting.. i wonder how much he'll get?

as a follow up to my last post:

i just got sues phone number.

and i gave her mine.

Is this some kind of boy thing?

Sunday, February 24, 2002

I Am A: Neutral Evil Elf Cleric Mage

Neutral Evil characters believe in Number One. Their personal gain takes precedance over all else, and they will work with whomever necessary and whatever institutions necessary to further their own goals.

Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently conccern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.

Primary Class:
Clerics are the voices of their God/desses on Earth. They perform the work of their deity, but this doesn't mean that they preach to a congregation all their lives. If their deity needs something done, they will do it, and can call upon that deity's power to accomplish their goals.

Secondary Class:
Mages harness the magical energies for their own use. Spells, spell books, and long hours in the library are their loves. While often not physically strong, their mental talents can make up for this.

Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy ofNeppyMan (e-mail)

Thursday, February 21, 2002

i've been spending a great deal of my time lying on my couch in the dark, thinking about everything.

sometimes the act takes on far greater meaning than the outcome.

i had decided to give it all up.

two of the most important symbols, for me anyway, were my writing and the pursuit of any kind of relationship, friends, family, romantic.

it was working, sometimes.

i'd catch myself trying to describe things, or capture the colour of the sky through the window, or figure out how a blind person would sense the walk down st-kilda road, or tying up the loose ends in my novel, or thinking about rituals involving death, and victorian circuses, or the nature of telling stories, or the feeling of the wind as it picks up a heavy cloak around you, or the sun on your face in the morning as you stand atop a building waiting to fall.

i couldn't help it, and i still cant.

i would read things and find quotes relating to writing that just made me want to sit down & write. things like : "you've got to have a pasion to tell stories. the life that you live is not the real life, it's the stories you have inside you." phil noyce :- empire interview march 2002.

but the act of writing again, of picking up a pen, or opening a laptop, signals my unwillingness to give up. it reflects all of the things that keep me here, doing these things, despite the overwhelming desire to just shut myself down.

the same goes for the girl thing. strange how these two important things have kind of spawned themselves right at a point where a decision really should be made.

but making a choice, making a definite, positive, action constitutes a choice on my part. a choice to keep going, to not slip beneath the surface and to continue to try and be happy. whatever that means.

for what it's worth, miss noodle seeing as we spoke about this earlier, even if she is seeing someone, or doesn't feel the same, it's the act that is infused with meaning. i'm still dealing with the possibilities of it all, of what both paths of action mean for me. the outcomes, the choices that need to be made, and the resolution to make them. these are all things that rest just outside of my reach right now.

i don't think i'm ready to go fully either way just yet, in the writing or the girl thing, or in the grander scheme that resembles my life.

sorry, this has been a bit of a braindump. i'd just been sitting around thinking & sometimes there is an overwhelming need to communicate, even if it's only the illusion of communication.

"This is how all journeys start you know.
Without any knowledge of the true beginning and without any knowledge of where the end might lie."

and with that. he was gone.

to make it a matter of public record:

i thought your colour thing was funny noodle.

Ha. After it coming up Zoe for about 7 times - a character I might add I've never even heard of , I managed to come up with this...


I'm a green puppet with a stupid repressed man's hand up my arse.

Which Sesame Street Character Are You?

I don't think that's true either.

And I did the colorgenics thing several times too, each time I did it I got something equally as depressing, no matter what order I clicked on the cubes or how much I grinned as I clicked. I have come to the conclusion that the site is run by either a) scientologists or b) a very very expensive "clinic" where they fix the brains of poor weak souls such as winona ryder. So I've come up with my own variations. Go on, have a go!

GREEN - How green was your valley? You are loving and demonstrative, which is good because you live in the same town as Buffy, and there are lots of monsters out there. You have an affinity for toasters.
RED - You're probably a communist. Passionate and clothed, you have arms.
YELLOW - Yellow is the colour most schizophrenics paint their bathrooms. But you probably meant to click on another one, right? Yellow is sunflowers and baby poo. Now is the day to get that promotion!
BLUE - Ever wondered why people feel blue? That's because blue is cuddly and exciting.
PINK - A rose by any other name could be a geranium. Beware of sheep.
BLACK - Pale and interesting, your wardrobe consists mostly of this colour. You will have a day.
ORANGE - You may be experiencing stress in the bathroom department today, Orange. You will overcome it, and need to call a plumber. You're attracted to other people with aubergines.
GREY - Admired by cows and pornographers alike, you love to be the centre of a tension. Your kidneys are pretty.

I am ELMO.

I'm cute, cute, as a button!

Which Sesame Street Character Are You?

Tuesday, February 19, 2002


this: here, is creepy.

i tried it & this is what it said about me:

Enough is enough ... you feel frustrated and rejected .... You are fighting back .. and the going is tough. It would be just wonderful if you could be left in peace ....

You are a true extrovert, frivolous and outgoing. You need to feel in control of any situation. If matters are not proceeding according to plan you tend to get extremely irritable and perhaps become difficult to live with.

You feel that you deserve far more than is being attributed to you, but there is no-one to whom you can turn to for sympathy and understanding. Your pent-up emotions and inherent egocentricity make you quick to take offence, but as matters stand you realise that you will have to make the best of things as they are.

As of late, you have been experiencing untold stress .. and this is a result of continuous frustration ... You haven't been taking care of all your physical needs... and it's beginning to show. It would seem that you have a need to find someone to whom you can really relate ... someone perhaps whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different .... to be individualistic ... to stand out from the common herd. Your inherent control of your sensual instincts is restricting your ability to give yourself to open up freely.... but this, being on your own, this being lonely ..often makes you feel the need to give up some of your strict standards to surrender to the general flow - to be like everyone else; a part of the herd. Deep down you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You would like to be loved or admired for yourself alone. You demand recognition and tender loving care.

There is that inherent fear that you may be prevented from attaining the better things in life ... those things that you consider essential to your well-being. So you are prepared to try everything to prove to yourself that whatever you do or try will go wrong... This destructive attitude could come under the heading of "A self fulfilling prophesy".This belittling yourself is your method of disguising how hopeless and what a waste of time you feel that everything is. So mow turn it about... As you "think"... so you are ... So "imagine" yourself successful ... "Pretend"... "Act it out" and you may be pleasantly surprised at the outcome.

anyone who's noticed i've prettty much dropped off the earth for the past few weeks....well, the above kind of sums it up. especially that first line.

i love it when your entire life can be reduced to the selection of 8 spinning cubes on a computer screen.

i hate my life.

Monday, February 18, 2002


i'm breaking my silence.

speaking of girls. once, just once. i'd like to meet one that i like where we didn't have a conversation that goes:

her / me : "Have you ever had a nervous breakdown?"
me / her : "yup, you?"

and then continues with mutual descriptions of both of them.


at least i'm up to casual physical contact & compliments with perky girl. or sue as she's colloquially known.


and i'm not the one making the compliments, or the casual contact either.

i hate my life.

well ... they'd been dating for six years. he's one of the editors of slashdot. i'm rather fond of online romance -- met my last GF on a BBS y'know :c)

(i plan on genetically engineering the next one from mud like an uruk-hai)

More useful stuff... pet preservation
fine if your pet was a gormless and glazed furball, I guess....

It's a good job I'm not that girl's best friend or anything... I coulda helped draft a much better (and more cutting) reply... in the negative... and I hope they've actually met, and he isn't still under the impression that she's a blonde six feet tall flight attendant...

ahh, the internet. Useful for some stuff.

Friday, February 15, 2002

geek proposes to girlfriend in front of a quarter of a million strangers, receives answer (in the affirmative) in about 15 minutes via email: via slashdot. (the table thingy was a wank so I've stopped.) Happy Valentine's Day for yesterday, all youze us single bastards!

Tuesday, February 12, 2002

Ohh what bad lads those biscuit boys turned out to be.
tsk tsk tsk

Like the dog and mullet story.

Now I must consider drinking beer,with Uncle Fusewire.


Ouch.... looks like it hurts when you get slapped by a Limp Bizkit...

Monday, February 11, 2002

Pol - saw a tiny little dog, with what I swear was a mullet, almost get run over in the midst of very heavy rush hour traffic on hoddle street, because it decided it wanted to run with the volvos in the middle lane, and because it's stupid bint owner didn't have it on a lead.

I had to fix up a Toyota Supra for a game. It kept getting rejected. Now it is approved. Hurray.


dogs haircuts hoddle st

Supra etc???

I am confused.

Harry I liked that so much I had it tattooed on my chest,typos and everything


All is wel i slept for 14 hours straight!

Thought for the day: People with small stupid dogs with silly haircuts should not let aforementioned dogs run around off the lead on Hoddle Street.

And I know it doesn't mean anything to most of the people on this blog, but my Supra got approved this morning, so I won't have to quit in a fit of pique.

Harry: I like the blog about the lightning.

Sunday, February 10, 2002

a cartoony guy for you cartoony people to look at on your cartoony pee-cees... Jay Geldhof. And ... something very, very silly that fans of cult UK sci fi TV will enjoy ... honest injun.

Saturday, February 09, 2002

i have a jar at home. it's small and round with a metal screw lid. it used to contain jam, but the label has long since peeled away. the side is still a little sticky from the glue but you'd never know unless you picked it up.

i caught some lightning in it. at night it crackles against the glass. i don't know whether to feel sorry for it and release it, or whether to keep it.

it sits on a wooden shelf, above the kitchen counter, with some other jars. most of them are empty, but there's one that always sits next to the lightning. even if i seperate them, the next morning they'll be next to each other, not quite touching.

it's bloodstained and filled with tears. it's always been there. i don't know what would happen to it if i released the lightning.

Thursday, February 07, 2002

i love the internet.

i've been going through a bit of creative block, probably brought on by the events of the past few weeks, but also because i realised that i had no idea what actually giving birth would be like.

um, it's for my novel. it's fairly important. i think.

so anyway, typed birth into google and lots of links came up, but i've been reading some of the complication stories on this one.

i don't think i'm quite ready to write the birthing scene yet.

and anyway, the only thing currently floating around my head is the giant story (you listening noodle??? that's the illustratory one) i think because it's quite sober, and about love and death that it's enjoying the kind of sombre tone space in my head. i started writing it, but it really needs a bit more planning than a normal story, because of the illustrations and writing a story to fit the page length. maybe i'll just write it.

ooh I know I know,Ms Smilie has the good grace to have one off the wrist on camera and can we find the inevitable mpeg? can we bugger.

And ohh Mr Harry you are wee indeed,In fact I think at cerain times of year I may even be 10 years your senior....I must stop now as I am awash in saddness.

But will leave you with a song

Deep Heat the Dildo
And touching up cretins
Serving gazpacho
with dog shit for croutons
Brown paper letter bombs tied up with string,
These are a few of my favorites SINS

Arrrrrr ,he says sounding like a pirate,or as my mate from Cornwall is want to say
the correct answer is
All of them.



Wednesday, February 06, 2002

Apparently Debbie Gibson is singing torch songs and country classics now. Damnit, I wanted to do a link for torch songs, but it appears that nobody's developed yet.

And I still haven't found the Carol Smilie 'Gotcha' outtake. Sheesh.

owing to some bizarre genetic accident, turns out i'm 24 years old.

i remember rick astley, and debbie gibson and tiffany though.

Australia Gets Drunk, Wakes Up in North Atlantic:

"It started off same as always; coupla fossils saying how our Banjo Patterson was a better poet than Walt Whitman, how Con the Fruiterer is funnier than Seinfeld, only they're Aussies so no one knows about 'em," recalled witness Kevin Porter. "Then this bloke Martin pipes up and says Australia's main problem is that it's stuck in Australia, and everybody says 'Too right!'"

"Well, it made sense at the time," Porter added.

By 2 a.m., powered by national pride and alcohol, the 3-million-square-mile land mass was barging eastward through the Coral Sea and crossing into the central Pacific, leaving a trail of beer cans and Chinese take-away in its wake.

Yeah The Div Com (ooh abbrev r cool no?) is really just one skinny effete lad from Norther Ireland (or nonr arrlahn if you prefer) called Neil Hanlon (sp?),he is also the son of the Bishop of...some err Proddy bit of Ulster.A dandy a fop but not a whoopsy he's all man all 35 kilos of him.
Well I have been sorted for a place to live hurrah!!
I have been lodging/squatting with my pal Bron,but she is getting married so I wanna be outta there before then.
Tiffanny,ah the peculiar hand movements she did in the 80's and now in the 90's she is going to cause a more traditional hand movement.If she is actually going to be in Playboy I might even buy it.
All I need after that would be the Debbie Gibson double penetration shoot.
Maybe if any one has seen any Rick Astley getting a right seeing to off a shetland pony they could drop me a line,I think that would round out my faded popstars turn to porn collection quite nicely.
Arf arf and fuck you all.
only kidding.

is Mr Harry awffy wee or some-ink?

who wants some PUSSY?

Pol, have you heard the Divine Comedy song on the Tom Jones cd, 'Reload'? It's really rather swanky... For those not in the know, like us hep cats that went out to parties or saw musical supergroups last night, Divine Comedy is/are the person(s) that did the Father Ted theme tune.. ooops just let myself down there by not knowing if they are singular or plural. Oh well, looks like it's back to reading Smash Hits and hoping that Rick Astley isn't married for me.
God. Rick Astley. Speaking of has beens, I heard that Tiffany "I think we're alone now" Tiffany is gonna be in next month's playboy. Oh how the mighty have fallen. *giggle*
Sorry if this is before your time, Harry, with the obscure mid 80's pop references, but I started feeling really old last night when I realised I'd been going to gigs on a regular basis for 14 years last night, and then I fell over and broke my hip.
Addendum: Actually I started feeling even older this morning when I was lying in bed, feeling too tired/lame to get up, cause I thought I'd pulled a muscle in my calf from standing for a period of longer than five minutes in a built up area during the hours of darkness.

Tuesday, February 05, 2002

Just listened to The Theme From Father Ted.
I do love that song.
Right super busy at the job,ooh deadlines,I love 'em especially the nice whooshy sound they make as the fuck right past.
Harry you're a star.
Sore head,beer wine speed...ah it's good to have pals who'll insist you come to a birthday party even when totally poor.
I was late this AM in an entirely unrelated incident.
The 'leccy went out at night and so I woke to find it flashing 12:00 12:00 12:00 12:00 12:00 12:00 12:00 12:00 12:00


You should all read Christopher Brookmyre (especially Harry) .Latest book "A Big Boy Did It And Ran Away"
I near enough pished masel' and yes it is that Scottish.


Monday, February 04, 2002


2 in a row.

i'm slowly becoming the blog king.

anyhoo, i've just managed to get up to 60,329 words with my novel. the end is gettting a lot closer now, i can see the scenes that need to be written in my head. only 4 or 5 major incidents, and that'll be it done and dusted. :)

i've started updating my journally thing again with this newfound enthusiasm for it. i'm still playing with the layout, so bear with me. and, yes i know it's a total ripoff of the blogger layout, but i liked it and it serves my purposes well.

i also started a little blog-journal thing to keep notes for the new thing. i found keeping a diary kind of cathartic & interesting, so thought i'd do the same this time around.

oh, and if you type "it's like trying to breathe glass" into google the nanowrimo site comes up second, with my name highlighted :-) that's kind of cool!

right, i've achieved enough today. bed now.

Friday, February 01, 2002

got my poe book, i've read one of the short stories in it and i'm not sure that it's the tone i want to be aiming for. i'll need to see how the story develops.

it's got a title now :) which i find helps me to kind of find the space that a story exists in, although interestingly the short stuff i write tends to swim out from ideas, and my experience of writing 'it's like trying to breathe glass' (like the quotation marks? i do!) is that the title helped shape the story in the beginning. hopefully this ghost-story-love-line thing has a bit more of a focus that it won't need the guiding hand of the title.


lightning without thunder.

i kind of like it :)

Harry, man, you have some serious Jane Austen and Edgar Allen Poe to read. Jane Austen for the veneer of politeness under which heaving bosoms lie, and Edgar Allen Poe for the sheer spookiness factor.

Ian: I have an idea, I just don't have the time to write it. Neville is sulking and not talking to me, and Gordon is occasionally freaking him out. Bea recounts recipes in my head. And by the end of the year, Nelly will have had a baby. (Which will be news to her, I can tell you, being that she's a 55 year old single woman.) But I don't want to spoil it all now... I will finish it at some point!!!