bloody bloody bloody... ok, so I broke the links on the pics to the left.... blame iprimus....

merry belated christmas greetings peeps.

so, liz & i decided not to get each other christmas presents, but because we're both nauseating, we went our seperate ways to try & find stuff...i figured i'd try & grab 'house of leaves' for her...'cos we'd been talking about it, and i keep telling her how great it is, and she wanteed to get me a copy of a book by nick cave

Christmas came & went, and i couldn't find it, and she couldn't find the book she was going to get me either.

so i figured i'd use the internet, try & track down a copy in melbourne. i typed "house of leaves" melbourne into google.

and feistynoodle came up on the top of the search results :) go ahead, try it...it's cool!

:/

have a good new year guys...and remember: donnie darko, 14th january, moonlight cinema

What's in the sack, Santa?



Insanity by yours truly, photography and flash by Paul Birnstihl.

Bill: back in 87, omfg 15 years ago, I had the good fortune to be cast (along with the rest of the boy's church choir I was singing in) in Richard Wherrett's production of Puccini's Turandot. An amazing experience for a gaggle of snot-nosed rascals. It was here that I first met the characters Ping, Pang and Pong, courtiers in Princess Turandot's, uh, court. Kinda ironic that a pretend arcade version of 'ping' appeared in the thread, and that Pang and Pong already exist as games. I was just killing three birds with one horribly rendered stone. I'm loading mp3s onto my phone (because I can, now that I have the fucking cable) so I can't mouse. So I can't post this item. The matrix will reset in 5 ... 4 ... oh and if you don't play the Domo-Kun game over at Newgrounds, you ain't worth shit.

news just to hand: alex4.0, feistynoodle poster, is now officially famous. Although let me be the first to say "I don't get it".

congratulations miss purdey, mr & mrs noodle-bob, and mr sigerson.

that's all i have to say, and then it's off to bed.

oh, and also that i fear friday may well be the strangest day in the history of the world.

:/

more news as it develops.

*So* tired. Had forgotten all about surviving on one hour or less of sleep. So I dread to think what Miss Purdey is feeling like. We changed some of the names - aqua is now Cocoa Jackson, and pink is, as it's your birthday, Mr Pol, now known as Codename Sigerson... And white, as she's a hell of a singer/squeaker, is called Carmina Burana.

Happy birthday, Pol. Happy birthday, puppies.

Over and out.

So the contractions began at 2am this morning. The first puppy, Caeser's Ghost, arrived at 0330. Cimmerian Thunder, the first male, was born at 0352. More puppies followed at regular intervals until the final (seventh), Cobalt Fury at 0520.

Both mother and babies are doing fine, and have already been to the vet. There are five females and two males:

Pink: Female: 0330 : 320g birthweight : "Caeser's Ghost"
Orange: Male: 0352 : 356g birthweight : "Cimmerian Thunder" (Conan)
Green: Female: 0404 : 395g birthweight : "Charlie's Angel"
Red: Female: 0415 : 324g birthweight : "Celtic Wanderer"
Aqua: Male: 0436 : 324g birthweight : "Claudius Jones"
White: Female: 0455 : 402g birthweight : "Cleopatra's Smile"
Black: Female: 0520 : 304g birthweight : "Cobalt Fury"

All the puppies are for sale, with prices starting at around $800. Please forward this to anyone you can think of who's in the market. These are show quality wiemaraners, all four grandparents are national champions, as is the father.



Pictures can be seen :

here

here (Cimmerian Thunder)

and here



I'm going to bed. Somebody wake me if the house burns down.

From kollaboration.org ... a korean-american party thingy. Fuck. What elite robot dancing moves! Right-click, save. via Jason @ kottke.org, who has a renamed version of this file. :)

Eve and Bill's pregnant weimaraner:



she receives messages from space...

harry's evil cat:



she knows what you're thinking!

Mao looks like 500, which in turn is a poor man's version of Tarot - which can only be played in the presence of a French person fueled on a couple of bottles of Cabernet Sauvignon.

bill, I think I have a brain fever, unable to absorb information you posted without going 'eewww, text?! blech!' and running off and hiding.

also - there's a petition over here to let WB know that it would be really groovy if John Milius (who wrote the first movie) would be able to write and direct "King Conan", the long awaited and mooted fifth Conan movie. Sign Please.

OK kids, a couple of new toys today... firstly the question: If one of the posters on this blog is actually an AI construct, which one, and why? answers on the back of a postman, but only after you've read this fun story from Zoetrope: All Story.


Secondly - can someone figure out the rules of this game, so that we can play it? I know telling someone the rules is against the rules (both my posts today have veiled references to a certain book/movie), but i'm not very smart, so take pity on me.....

peace

out

Modern Life. Reccomended.

For those who left early ...

In (post-) Communist Russia, Tom Leher lyrics read you!
via pesenki.by.ru

'A Christmas Carol'
Tom Lehrer

Christmas time is here, by golly,
Disapproval would be folly,
Deck the halls with hunks of holly,
Fill the cup and don't say "when".
Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens,
Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens,
Even though the prospect sickens,
Brother, here we go again.

On Christmas Day you can't get sore,
Your fellow man you must adore,
There's time to rob him all the more
The other three hundred and sixty-four.

Relations, sparing no expense'll
Send some useless old utensil,
Or a matching pen and pencil.
"Just the thing I need! How nice!"
It doesn't matter how sincere it
Is, nor how heartfelt the spirit,
Sentiment will not endear it,
What's important is the price.

Hark the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things.
God rest you merry, merchants,
May you make the Yuletide pay.
Angels we have heard on high
Tell us to go out and buy!

So let the raucous sleighbells jingle,
Hail our dear old friend Kris Kringle,
Driving his reindeer across the sky -
Don't stand underneath when they fly by!

What's really good about this site is they have banners for what looks like orthodox priests next to the pr0n banners. Classy!



and don't forget, to keep those fingers busy while you're away from the keyboard you could do worse than print off a bunch of PDFs from origami.com. Happy Suicide Season, everyone!

Just read this over at wwdn:
Spam-king drowning in snailmail spam

A spammer whose gleeful interview -- where he revelled in the money pouring in from spamming -- was Slashdotted is now drowning in catalogs and other junkmail. Slashdotters have submitted his name to every direct marketer on earth.

"They've signed me up for every advertising campaign and mailing list there is," he told me. "These people are out of their minds. They're harassing me..."

"Several tons of snail mail spam every day might just annoy him as much as his spam annoys me," wrote one of the anti-spammers.

The original article's here.

What a shame. Poor guy. I think I'll send him a letter of condolence. I'll be sure to send it to:

Alan M Ralsky
6747 Minnow Pond Drive
West Bloomfield Township, MI 48322-2663

From The dead speak at mindsunwound...

Nick liked Elvis, Elvis hated Co$, Lisa Marie was in the Co$. *shrug*.

"One day, in L.A., we got in the limousine and went down to the Scientology center on Sunset, and Elvis went in and talked to them. We waited in the car, but apparently they started doing all these charts and crap for him. Elvis came out and said 'Fuck those people! There's no way I'll ever get involved with that son-of-a-bitchin' group. All they want is my money.' Well, Peggy still kept on about it, so Elvis didn't date her any more. And he stayed away from Scientology like it was a cobra. He'd shit a brick to see how far Lisa Marie's gotten into it."

Elvis Aaron Presley: Revelations From The Memphis Mafia by Alanna Nash, with Billy Smith, Marty Lacker, and Lamar Fike (copyright 1995, Harper Collins). Italics added.

Hail to the King, baby.

Maybe it was all those weird ads he did that drove them apart.

"Oh, hi there. This is a little song I just wrote about the things I love ... [singing]: ./` ./` A red headed girl ... a walk in the rain ... peanut butter sandwiches and ... pachinkooooo ... ./` ./`"

Thanks again for the invite Fowzuh, should be there with bells on, not the jingly kind mind. Was recently asked by female parental unit if I 'knew' what I was 'doing' for 'christmas'. Resisting the temptation to say that rarely does anyone truly 'know' what they are 'doing', I replied, 'I dunno, probably getting drunk with friends.' FLAWLESS VICTORY.

To refresh everyone's memory, here's the Saturnalia online comic I think of every year come December. Taken from E-Sheep. "1995. keywords: paganism, christmas, yule, winter solstice, horned god. warnings: nudity, sex, religiously offensive; not very well drawn." Modest!

In the past few weeks I've had a couple of days in town and browsed the shops to look critically at the junk people are sucking up this festive season. Mainly in Melbourne Central, David Jones, Myer and so on. The Disney store too. I think it's pretty safe to say that a majority of consumer goods these days are manufactured in the People's Republic of China, where it's okay to say 'Merry Christmas' as long as you don't believe it. It's okay to work an assembly line pumping out Nativity dioramas, as long as you don't worship at one. The ice needle in my brain was this article from The Age last weekend that outlined the human rights abuses going down up north. The amount of crap at the Disney store, (which, it pains me to add, will be closing down in the beginning of next year) that is made in the PRC is amazing. Ultra-ironic was the footage running on the big screen of Donald and Daisy Duck re-enacting the TREASONOUS! story of Noah and the Great Flood. While I'm a pretty Slack humanitarian in general, the extent of my goodwill being some highly selective rewarding of panhandlers (shoes too new? going to buy smack? am I in a good mood?), this apparent tragic irony has chipped away at my 'consumer conscience' over the past few weeks, motivating me to design some all-purpose 'MANUFACTURED IN THE PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA' stencils to adorn all relevant casual garments in my posession, and, disturbingly, to overturn entire tables of stock in department stores, yelling, "FOOLS! IMBECILES!". Merry Christmas?

in news just to hand, the reason that nicolas cage got a divorce from lisa marie presley? she made him sell his comics (for a cool 1.6 million bucks) heartless wench.

first post from my new place 'o work.

hmph.

anyway, my novel grew a title this morning...'in the shadows of trees.' it'll make sense when you read it :)

so there.

i vote: we prbly can't go to life of brian - purdey's due. in fact, our post chrissy socialising will be severely curtailed due to the arrival of several bundles of joy.... i would like to go see ghost world (ON MY BIRTHDAY JANUARY 28TH) tho.

HO!! Ho!! ho!! Billyjoebob!!

Thank you for sending me your email all the way from Preston! Did you know that Preston is one of Mrs. Claus' favourite places? The other thing she really likes is to read all your wonderful emails. As a matter of fact, she was just asking if I had heard from you lately! By the way, Rudolph just told me that the Boomers are all ready and excited to pull the sleigh over Australia.

Ho! Ho! Ho! Billyjoebob! Are you fibbing to ol' Santa Claus?!? You can't possibly be 28 years old already! Why it seems like only yesterday that I was leaving presents for a certain little boy and here you are now, practically one of Santa's elves! (*grin*)

Sorry the presents the last little while probably haven't been quite as exciting as they were when you were a little boy but, well, you know how these things go (*wink*). Anyway, Santa's glad to see some of the 'older kids' (not to mention anyone in particular!) still take the time to write. I also hear you've been a sorta good boy. (Of course, you won't mind if I do a little checking, will you? HO!! Ho!! ho!!).

Let's see what you put in your letter for Christmas wishes: 1. grand theft auto : vice city; 2. sizeable collection of pornography and; 3. cornucopia of fine wines. The elves really like making those presents so I know they'll be happy to hear that's what you want. Of course, there are a lot of good boys and girls in the world and only so many presents so I hope you won't be too upset with me if you don't get everything you asked for this Christmas.

Oh! oh! The Grinch is trying to steal some of Mrs. Claus' cookies! That Grinch sure is funny. He may not like Christmas, but he sure likes those cookies! Well, I better go stop him before he steals them all. Take care Billyjoebob and don't forget to listen for me Christmas Eve!! And remember... only 22 more sleeps until Christmas!!

Yours truly,

Don't tell Hess he's famous ...

i vote (oops life of brian ... 4.5) 1 5 2 3 4 for harry's films. how does everyone else vote?

Moonlight cinema

recommended this year is:

December 24th : life of brian :)
January 14th - donnie darko : BEST FILM OF THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!
January 28th - ghost world : SECOND BEST FILM OF THIS YEAR!!!!
February 5th - fear and loathing in las vegas : BATS
February 18th - the godfather
February 25th - being john malkovich

Xmas presents anyone? These dolls are pretty funny... although I have to admit being a bit disturbed by the clown one...