Thursday, February 19, 2004

For the resident and itinerant Scousers, with fingers crossed, via

It requires a surgical operation to get a joke well into a Scotsman's understanding.
- Sidney Smith

Oats: a grain which in England is generally given to a horse, but in Scotland, it supports the people.
- Samuel Johnson

The great thing about Glasgow now is that if there is a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.
- Billy Connolly

Much may be made of a Scotsman, if he is caught young.
- Samuel Johnson

The noblest prospect which a Scotsman ever sees, is the high road that leads him to England.
- Samuel Johnson

Scotland: That garret of the earth - that knuckle-end of England - that land of Calvin, oatcakes, and sulfur.
- Sydney Smith

There are few more impressive sights in the world than a Scotsman on the make.
- James Barrie

I have been trying all my life to like Scotchmen, and am obliged to desist from the experiment in despair.
- Charles Lamb

If the Scotch knew enough to go in when it rained, they would never get any outdoor exercise.
- Simeon Ford

In all my travels I never met with any one Scotchman but what was a man of sense. I believe everybody of that country that has any, leaves it as fast as they can.
- Francis Lockier

The kilt is an unrivalled garment for fornication and diarrhea.
- John Masters

The Scots invented golf - which could also explain why they invented Scotch.
- James Dent

In Scotland, you're considered posh if you have slates on your roof. Indeed, if you have a roof.
- unattrib.

If you take a picture of a Scotsman, he runs about claiming you stole his soul.
- unattrib.

I wish Scotland would snap-off and sink!
- unattrib.
I went looking for 'Scottish insults' and found ways to insult the Scottish. Thankyou intarwebnet


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