Saturday, September 25, 2004

I have this theory. Slowly, surely, we're breeding out embarrasment.

It's the only way to explain away people who chatter in the cinema.

Reading out the '' from the advert IS NOT NECESSARY!

Commenting on the trailer's music with: "I think I'll just buy that cd, rather than see that movie," DOESN'T MAKE YOU SOUND SMARTER

Discussing how you read Vanity Fair in high school DOESN'T MAKE YOU SOUND LITERATE!

Awwing the cute dog to your friend in a film about the breakdown of a family unit in contemporary italy IS MAYBE MISSING THE FUCKING POINT.

Questioning Gretchen Ross's choice of which boy to sit beside in Donnie Darko with: "What if she doesn't like boys," MAKES YOU SOUND LIKE A STUPID, BEER SWILLING, HOMOPHOBIC DICKWAD WHO SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED NEAR A FUCKING CINEMA, AND CERTAINLY DOES NOTHING TO IMPROVE THE FILM!

And laughing loudly at inappropriate moments during a film, such as masturbation, or domestic violence just makes you look like a tool.

What makes you think that the thoughts in your head are so important that you need us all to hear them? I came to the cinema to sit in the dark, in silence, not to hear you laughing when somebody is run over by a car, or to hear you shift uncomfortably in your seat when people have sex. I don't care what you think of the slutty daughter, I don't care if you can read the keyring in Kill Bill, I don't care what you think of george clooney in cruel intentions, and I certainly don't care what your thoughts are about the homo-erotic undertones of Donnie Darko.



At 11:06 AM, Blogger Liz said...

I'm sorry, but she really was a slut, and I told you in a most amusing way during the end credits. OK, the rest are nothing to do with me, and I totally agree with you - especially about the one.


Post a Comment

<< Home