Wednesday, May 02, 2001

You'll like this one, kids. It's about banks.

I have a direct debit, which goes out every month, when the Commonwealth Bank feel like it, to an account in the UK. I want to change the date it goes out and the amount that goes out. I think, a small child can do this, it's easy. But oh no, not at the Commonwealth Bank it isn't. I call the customer service number... (after finally getting through to an operator). You'll notice I represent the dialogue of the operator in babyshit brown.
- Hello, I'd like the address of the CBA in Rockingham, WA, please.
- May I take your name please?
- Eve. I just need the address, thanks.
- Great! Can I ask what it's regarding, please? (I don't know where the sudden burst of enthusiasm came from, but it surprised me too.)
- I want to change the details on a direct debit I have.
- Right, that number is 132221. (For those lucky enough not to bank with CBA, this is the number I rang.)
- Umm, I need the address.
- Do you need the phone number?
- Just the address please.
- OK, it's (blah blah) . Anything else I can help you with?
- That's it. Thanks for your help, bye!
- Could I interest y-?

It didn't stop there. I typed up the letter, looked at the address I'd been given, and it seemed wrong. Ok, it didn't occur to me that the CBA might actually move their branch, so I went on the internerd, and looked it up. Because that guy sounded like an oaf, right? I noticed it had a phone and fax number, so I called them and asked if I could send the changes to my direct debit via fax. Sure, no problem! Ok, I faxed it off, thinking that was not as painful as it could have been.
Ten minutes later, I get a phone call from the bank, (and I'm still irresponsible enough to be scared when I get phone calls from banks, police stations and lawyers) only for them to tell me that due to the Privacy Act (we still had one?!) they can't accept a fax, but I can go to my nearest local branch of the CBA and they'll be *able* to help me...

My point? I may not have thousands, but these people are looking after my money.

Be afraid, be very afraid...

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