Hi all, 'scuse the low profile I've been keeping lately. I use it to look under public toilet doors, don't you know. Okay, I presume you're all familiar with the look-for-one-thing-and-discover-something-you-weren't-looking-for-and-had-previously-given-up-for-dead scenario, well, have you met it's evil twin, the look-for-one-thing-and-discover-something-you-weren't-looking-for-and-been-transfixed-by-the-complete-unrelatedness-of-the-two?

The following should keep you all in fine spirits for the next week or two.

One morning/afternoon, either is used, I espy some graffiti on the IOLIAN HALL (as opposed to an aureolian hall, which involves really large nipples) on Lygon St, just up the road from *cue thunder* 666 Lygon St, opposite the Melbourne General Cemetery. On the front fence the following is written:

"this romantic esoterica is for LORD AUCH's eyes only."

So who the fuck is Lord Auch? Google was my friend. Behold The Story Of The Eye, in all its perfectly English glory. Probably the most not-work-safe text you will have read since dolphinsex.org.

I got Samuel L Motherfucker on that Jedi quiz too. But I'm not black ... I demand a recount.