1. Erotic origami - see also kokigami in the big black book...
2. Queen mum - another one bites the dust. Thankfully. Nothing against her personally, except I've heard she was racist, not the most intelligent person ever and also rather banal. Time for a republic - we'll get Thom Yorke and John Lydon to compose a new anthem. Oh, and God save Quentin Crisp.
3. Harry - that's the same story as all the other ones! It's like trying to sell someone their own shoes! Or something... No more disabled women for you!
4. Pol - my guess for those teeth? Treacle and sawdust.
5. Alex - You're slipping, mate! Run off and do rude things with (more) skater chicks, and have a cup of sugary tea.
6. Bill - get well soon honey.
7. Eve - get back to work.