Monday, February 09, 2004

I’m sure it’s kinda lame to be quoting Homer but some of these are just plain funny, and let’s face it – I wasn’t very cool to start with. Numbers 3 & 15 are especially for you Harry.

1. You couldn't fool me on the foolingest day of the year with an electrified fooling machine.
2. With $10,000, we can be millionaires!
3. Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?
4. I know I'm not usually a praying man, but if you're up there, please Superman, help me!
5. Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.
6. Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true.
7. Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos.
8. Without TV, it is hard to know when one day ends and another begins.
9. I don't have to be careful. I've got a gun!
10. Being eaten by a crocodile is just like falling asleep, in a blender.
11. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel.
12. There's that purple stuff inside. Purple is a fruit!
13. Note to self. Stop doing anything.
14. I'm just trying to get into heaven. I'm not running for Jesus.
15. Speed limits are just a suggestion, like pants.


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