Friday, January 31, 2003

rubbish monkey

Thursday, January 30, 2003

curiouser and curiouser... novelty taxidermy of the last century. Warning: not particularly kitten or gopher friendly.

Arses.

Which OS are You?

Which OS are You?

Tuesday, January 28, 2003

i don't remember a dog running into our class when i was at school :/

but a cat keeps running into our office at work.

Saturday, January 25, 2003

Fucking nerds! AMI BIOS or NOT? -- found wandering around slack-jawed at morons.org after visiting Rotten News, which never ceases to amaze me. Someone should send them a link to the classic headline at The Age at the moment: Record heat and stupidity as Melbourne
swelters
. Maybe that someone is me.

Ambulance officers were left speechless with rage after treating four children who had been left locked in cars on a day when the mercury reached 43.9 degrees.
It's not a darwin award if you do it to your children! Come on, people!

Pol: Top effort. Maybe swap 'cos the Queen ain't gonna' with 'we wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire'. Just my $0.02. Anyone else wondering if his stoner sons have enlisted yet?

Friday, January 24, 2003

Ocasionally the internet answers useful questions, such as why Bond villains employ dwarves. It's nice to know it has a purpose.

Thursday, January 23, 2003

Pol: Post your effort here and we'll forward it on, and take the credit if it wins anything. What happened to 710.77345? Also: the most embarrassing thing you can do as a schoolchild is have the rotten luck to get your own mother as an emergency teacher, or worse, a music teacher, for your class. I'm sure this is why I'm going grey, grind my teeth, and have involuntary fear responses when anyone starts singing impromptu around me. Here's a hint, friends: don't do it. :cP Also: Old people with mobile phones are probably drug dealers. You know, the coffin dodgers you hear about getting nicked for carrying more than their own body weight in E at the airport. Two words: Citizen's Arrest.

Harry: On the other hand, the only true expatriate reply would have been something along the lines of: 'she'll have to put in a decent effort tomorrow if she wants to make up for my solid batsmanship this afternoon.' Yar boo sucks to baseball analogies.

Bill: Get better! Wandering around CERES in Brunswick is, like, great for your Qi, dude. If that fails, ritual sacrifice of puppies is a last resort.

Others: The Victoria branch of the Australia Day Committee has proposed an oath they want us to regurgitate on Australia Day, whether we're staring glumly at Glorious Supreme Leader Howard on the picturetube or standing around the ceremonial meat-like foodstuff incinerating peripheral. Against my better judgement I'm including it here.

We are Australian
We stand here proudly
Brave, strong, open and tolerant
We stand here equal,
Fair true and free
Together we will build the future
but we will not forget the past
We will stand together
We are Australian.

The Melbourne Weekly Times is running a competition to re-write this Oath, in part or all. "The oath is not just untrue; it is sickening. Where is the laid-back Australian approach, the scepticism, the satire, the things that supposedly distinguish us from America? That's where you come in, dear reader. We reckon you can do much better, and we're prepared to reward the best alternative oath with a $50 bottle of Australian wine chosen by our wine writer Jeff Gordon. Please keep the entries short and please give them some poetry, humour and spirit. Send them to Eat Your Oath Competition, The Melbourne Times, PO Box 208, Carlton South, 3053. Make sure you include your name, address and phone number." So the hired goons sniffing the mail at Australia Post know where to send the re-education squads, I presume.

Finally, here's a little reminder that if the US does jump the gun and start throwing rocks and sharp sticks at the Iraqis, there's every indication they'll be dropping illegally developed nuclear weapons too. Whenever our mainstream media boasts about the US's 'bunker-busting' capabilities, you'll notice in future that they don't mention the B61-11.

"Made in America." "Yeah. We're gonna make that *mean* something again!" -- Robocop 2

Sunday, January 19, 2003

in reponse (well, sortof) mr sigerson.

someone asked me what base i'd got to with miss abbott.

and the only true nerd reply to that is: 'all her base are belong to me!'

Saturday, January 18, 2003

hello.

Friday, January 17, 2003

Strange giant cat sightings etc what's the world coming to, obviously they need a tumbleweed animation that I just happen to have handy cause nobody was posting, so umm here it is.



Bill hasn't been blogging cause GTA Vice City finally arrived yesterday, adn Harry hasn't been blogging because.. well, yes, and I have been cranking out fake websites and pitches at a rate of knots in the vain hope of getting somewhere... pol, we should swap, cause I am paying money to my scary UK Visa (oh, and mastercard) accounts because I'm too crap to save, and any time we are without work, rent money, food etcthey keep falling out of my purse and paying for stuff. oh well.

Wednesday, January 15, 2003

Giant Cat Eats Dog in Wales
Claims that a panther-like animal may be roaming the Black Mountains of Wales have been confirmed by a post mortem examination which showed that a dog was killed and partly eaten by a larger predator.

A Dyfed Powys Police spokesman said: "The post mortem examination and independent witness accounts are all adding to evidence that we have a large panther-like animal on the prowl. The DNA tests will hopefully be conclusive."

Police issued a warning to farmers not to go out alone in the dark after Michael Sheppard, 62, came face to face with the animal while searching for the whippet, which had been reported missing by its owner.

Mr Sheppard told police the cat was covered in blood and standing over the dog's body. (reg. req.)

via New World Disorder

I tried to blow my own trumpet once. Nearly slipped a disc. Aoooga!

Friday, January 10, 2003

you know - he's never been one to blow his own trumpet, but i think he's pretty damn cool.

so i'm forced to blow alex's trumpet for him. These pictures are very funny. And also disturbing.

Thursday, January 09, 2003

Light ... moving ... in time ...

More mashed up mp3s than you can poke a stick at.

Billy Joe Bob

publish

Wednesday, January 08, 2003

I've got bronchitis. that's why i've been coughing my lungs up for the past week :/

i've never had it before. it sucks!

Sunday, January 05, 2003

For Bill, and anyone else who's playing GTA3:VC at the moment: the degenatron! Via alt.religion.kibology.